Poetry Workshop |
Love Is No Lady |
Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
OK, here is my first attempt. Remember teacher, I promised no more spitballs so please go a little easy on me. Maybe I'll even bring an apple or maybe a Dr. Pepper ~but throws spitball at Jim which he then deflects causing it to hit Philip (with 1 L) instead~ The poem may not be all that great, but I think it does include personification, if I understand it. Please advise of any problems or misunderstandings. BTW, sorry to be late again but the dog ate my paper the first time (again). Guess we don't feed her enough or maybe it's just a devious streak or something. Oh yeah, this was supposed to be a poem Alright then, here it is. Love Is No Lady Your fine façade, the manner of your speech, Your smile, your charm, apparent gentle way Are naught but false impressions. You show each, But sadly, you're no lady, I must say. Attraction which exceeds our understanding, And words in voice so sweet they melt our hearts; We just can't realize you're so demanding Condemning fools to play our foolish parts. You'll stroke our hand or hold us to your breast, Our thoughts and warm emotions to expose To misery and mockery at best -- No mortal temptress claims such wiles as those. We strive to have you by our side although You are no lady, Love, as we all know. < !signature--> Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 01-28-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved | |||
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wow! This is wonderful, Pete! Beautiful! Denise |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Pete: I would be willing to suggest this is one of your best sonnets to date. Excellent, excellent, excellent, meter, rhyme, theme. Excellent personification too. You've become a sonnet writing machine. Good job! And just know that I could've deflected that spit ball right back at you but deliberately redirected toward Knave Philip to demonstrate that his much vaunted vorpal blade is ineffectual when used against the Whiffling JB (Jabberwocky -- like the Lewis Carroll reference, btw, Knave Philip). Just don't let it happen again, Pete. Also, Pete, I agree that my most recent sonnet is not anywhere close to being my best. Your comments on it were, in my opinion, warranted. Thanks for your honesty. *Jim slips a tack on Philip's seat just as Philip sits down with a wink and a snicker at Pete* Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
This is wonderful !!!!! I guess it's high time you change your name And you know what ? You gave me the inspiration to try again. Thank you, thank you, thank you ! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Denise, now I'm blushing but highly flattered. And Jim, I've admitted all along that I am a sonnet junkie but not sure I would class this among "my best." As for comments on your sonnet, I hope I wasn't so negative as to be classified as "warranted." It's just that I have so identified with your previous sonnets that this one just didn't click or reach out and grab me like others have. ~ducks behind Munda just in case~ Munda, I don't know how I could inspire you but I am always ready to take credit for any good of which I might be accused ~no spitballs this time, he appears to take wadded page from previous attempt at personification, carefully flattens it as best he can and forms it into the shape of ... shape of ... shape of a paper airplane, which then miserably fails to fly, most likely due to its wrinkled skin~ Sorry if I, in any way, caused you to sit on that tack, Philip. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
*Jim rolls up his research paper and wacks Pete on the back of the head* You are too hard on yourself. Your criticism was tasteful and constructive. You were also right so stop apologizing!!! One of the dangers, I think, of writing something that everyone likes is maitaining a certain standard with everything written. I'm a beginner with this poetry stuff (don't let the "Senior Member" title fool you) so this is a new lesson for me to learn all about. Philip: The tack was Ruth's idea, by the way. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Ahem .. why do I get the feelin' I'm bein' victimised 'ere ... JENNNIIIIII c'mere an' sort this outta control rabble out for me will ya .. As for you Ruth if this tacky (heh) thing is really true ... humphhh !! Tell me that's its just JB causin' mayhem in the ranks .. And finally Pete to your poem .. which is a SONNETTTTTTTTTTT .. oh my goodness are you all Bouder clones what IS goin on here. One good thing .. at least some people will be able to recognise this as such in its more conventional form . Actually cuttin' through all the classroom frivolity it really was an excellent poem Pete ... and I guess maybe sonnets aren't such a bad idea after all as long as they're hidden in a long long poem ... .. Thanks Pete |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
But you did give me new inspiration by the way you "talk" to Love ....and I finished it......and Kess is happy with it....meaning I'm happy ! So thank you from now on you may duck behind me anytime, as long as the spitballs miss me ! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
NOW wait one moment!!!! I haven't even been in class for two days and I come back to being the blame for som malicious crime on another student...well!! Hmph....storms out of the class room and remembers she forgot to reply to the poems so comes back in and sits down...pulling the spitballs jim has put in her hair out. What can I say that hasn't been said. This is an excellent poem and a great example of personafication and you defiantely need to change your name. You are most certainly a poet Pete...and do you really think you need to be here ( j/k...smiling ) I can live with the idea That we are merely actors Playing a part But I do wish Whoever is writing my script Would learn to use A few more Happy Endings ~Javan |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I'm sooooooooo relieved Ruth .. that those malicious stories put about by that ruffian were untrue .. not that I believed it for a moment of course .... Hug Philip |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Ruth, I didn't believe for even a second that the tack was your idea. I think ole Jimbo is our doer of dastardly deeds around here ~Pete eyes Philip with envy as he o hugs Ruth~ < !signature--> Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 01-31-2000).] |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Okay, Pete. I said it was Ruth's idea like you told me to. Now where is my $5.00? Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
(Kess smiles and backs out of the room without a word) Nope, no help needed here -- an excellent work by an overmodest "Not a Poet" --Kess Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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