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S3NSATION18
Junior Member

since 2000-01-26

Posts 31

0 posted 2000-01-28 11:31 AM

i care for you
but not as much as i should
i need you
but not as much as i should
i wanna feel you
but not as much as i should
i miss you
but not as much as i should
do you care?
as much as you should
do you need me?
as much as you should
do you wanna feel me again?
as much as you should
do you miss me?
as much as you should
i gave you more than i should and now
im left asking these questions of you
but unfortunately the answers have become clear
why cant you just appreciate me...
as much as you should?

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

1 posted 2000-01-29 04:49 AM

Cool poem. Well, I hope you find someone to appreciate you as much as they should. Don't waste time bemoaning someone who doesn't unless they are incredibly important and special to you.
Keep

Penelope
Junior Member

since 2000-01-26

Posts 31

2 posted 2000-01-30 05:55 PM

I like this poem. Sometimes I get to feeling this way about the one that I love when I'm depressed. He always manages to snap me out of it just at the right time though. I hope that either you can find someone who appreciates you and loves you the way you hunger for... or you realize that what you're searching for is right there in front of you.

-Penny

My advice in life is; talk to yourself, you never know what you'll learn.

poetry_kills
Senior Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 549
new orleans

3 posted 2000-01-30 06:19 PM

sensation: i really like this one a lot... i do wish, however that you had a slight variance in some of the repeated lines... i think it gets too repetitious after the 2nd time... adding (or changing) a single word can mean a world of difference... even just changing "as much as you should" to "as much as you could" makes a world of difference to the reader...

sincerely,
jerome the boy with the blue thumb

A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge

S3NSATION18
Junior Member

since 2000-01-26

Posts 31

4 posted 2000-02-02 11:55 AM

thanx jerome i definitely agree...i hardly rewrite me poems i post em the way they come out...you know..

angel6917
Member

since 2000-01-14

Posts 478
WI

5 posted 2000-02-07 04:02 PM

Ok, so this is the poem you told me about when you replied to mine. I understand completely where you're coming from in this poem. I'm not sure whether this is you missing him, or him missing you. I get messages of both from your poem. Sorry. ANYHOO, I hope you find what you're looking for, and I'm hopefully going to find that special someone, too.
~Kristi Lynn

"Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me

Corazon
Senior Member

since 2000-02-02

Posts 1209

6 posted 2000-02-08 10:09 AM

I agree with Poetrykills....its got a good message, but the repetition, sort of distracts.....keep up the writing

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

7 posted 2000-02-08 12:47 PM

S3NSATION, geez, I remember those feelings. I understand the repetition too. You just don't understand so your mind just keeps asking.......... I so get this.But, I also get that he isn't treating you as well as he should. I hope it works out~I hope he gets a clue~ If not~ wave good-bye. -SEA

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