Teen Poetry #2 |
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Adolescence |
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Rodeo Jones Junior Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 18San Jose, CA, USA |
Sleep nagging at my eyelids Eluded once again by love's evanescence Body craving what the mind forbids Momentary bouts of luminescence Silent suffering from within my cerebrum Lonely with what cannot be defined Obliquely spinning in my personal conundrum Glancing at a youth, that at one point shined Today is drowning in plans for tomorrow Righteously spent on fated torment Blindly passing in selfish sorrow Through the shrouds of adolescence I already resent Who does share in my eternal dull pain Another failed lover, blinded by dust From the brown barren fields which ne'er see rain Of the lightness of feeling, some call trust |
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© Copyright 2000 Rodeo Jones - All Rights Reserved | |||
Rodeo Jones Junior Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 18San Jose, CA, USA |
Hey people. I wrote this poem, and I'd really like some replies. I posted a few poems on the open forum about a month ago and got about 1 reply. I was not very happy about this. But as you saw by the poem, my interests are not rooted strongly in any one thing, and I usually only write poetry when I feel really strongly about something. Since I haven't posted on this forum before and missed the masssive introduction on forum #1, I'll just go ahead and introduce myself. My name is Underdog (really!!!), and the nick Rodeo Jones comes from the band Sunny Day Real Estate. I'm 16 and a San Jose Cali. resident of 6 months. My poems usually confront the hopelessness of my volatile love life (nonexistent), or just all around depressing topics in general. Oh, and on a more serious note, I like Provolone Cheese. ;-) Reply Pleaaaase!!!! Rodeo Jones |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Sorry about the so few replies sometimes. I promise to reply to anything that catches my attention. And this definitely did. For one, I can connect with it, it struck me inside. And, overall, a very lovely work. I look forward to more. ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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eagle Junior Member
since 1999-10-20
Posts 39singapore |
Yep, I agree with Astraea. Keep it coming. ![]() |
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shell-grunge Junior Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 17 |
you rock! i love the style. i love the expression. i interprited it in my own (not sure if it was supposed to appeal that way) way but yeah i can relate. very true SO TRUE your gifted shell |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Exellent work! I too can relate to this. You have a good command on words and the form flows well. You have talent, do keep it up! Sometimes it takes a while for the newbies here to get replies, as sad as that is. But keep it up anyways! Great job! ![]() *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
This is a touching and very good poem. It caught my attention. Welcome to Passions and I hope to see more of your writing here. Isabelle =) |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions. Open is difficult to break into. There is a special option with the new software that alerts members of new posts. This helps very much. There are so many authors that it is difficult to read everyone. Once you read a poet and enjoy your work you look for them. You are very talented and I am sure you will quickly gather a following. I enjoyed this piece. Well written. |
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Star Fairy 2 Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260cerritos, california, usa |
This was very nice, keep up the good work!!! Don't Fall.. Rise in Love -------823------- |
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