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Teen Poetry #2
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Torment
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Torment |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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A corporeal visage rests Upon your broken soul Hardened Chilled by eternity Blinding fury quieted Leaving now Only emptiness.... Raging scarlet soaked Upon icy skin The crimson luster surreal Slowly streaming Robbing innocent life Calm yourself It is only a nightmare.... Bright lights harshly blare Robotic voices speak You do not understand You are closed Unable to respond Shackled in steel chains As freedom is now sacrificed.... Her voice whispers to you A flutter of moth wings Tormenting Wanting you to feel the pain She felt By your cruel hand As one word seals your fate.... The whisper of her Remains locked within you As a single needle Delivers horrid punishment Your screams fade As the poison seeps And revenge is just beginning.... ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream....." ~Faith Hill: If My Heart Had Wings~ [This message has been edited by Alwye (edited 11-24-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Very good piece Krista, I loved this one, very evocative and quite dark. Good work my friend! ------------------ "'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape, from the life I live when I'm awake" - Creed - "Higher" |
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Midnight Junior Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 28 |
Hey, I really like this one. I know how u feel. ------------------ |
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~Red~ Junior Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 36chicago, Ill-na, u.s.a. |
oooooo....i really like this one too! good work! |
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April Resi Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 119Alabama |
i like this! very dark and dreary....but very good! April ------------------ ...in your eyes, I see my future in an instant, And there it goes, I think I found my best friend... |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Very well written Krista. You elude to revenge, but we do not get a glimpse of why? That is my only fault with this piece. Keep up the good work my friend.  |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Thank you all very much. Marilyn-- I did not elaborate on revenge, because in my case, it is sometimes much more interesting to leave it hanging, to leave the reader to wonder. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream....." ~Faith Hill: If My Heart Had Wings~ |
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Krut Junior Member
since 1999-11-26
Posts 27Adams, Wi U.S.A |
Krista not only do u have an awesome name..(its mine too) but ure poem is awesome...i love the descriptions...wow...good job!!! |
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Looking-glass Junior Member
since 1999-10-26
Posts 10Singapore |
Very nice poem. U had a good use of imagery. Hope to see more of your work coming along! --------------------------------------------- If you want to succeed, double your failure rate.----Director of IBM |
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