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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-05-28
Posts 152

0 posted 2000-06-08 05:20 PM

** I tend to hide behind metaphors...i hide alot when i think about it. Anyway, I think this is one of the most fogged up poem, but also it's very clear (i don't know what i'm going on about). I'm just saying that I think it's very hard for someone (other than me) to understand this; so I'll appreaciate all replies.

Flowery  elaborate words,
Fails to grip the brush
Slips unnoticed across my
Dissipating into mist
Evaporating under your wrath,
Stripped bare
Small as I can.
Distant echoes of unnerving mystical
Chimes of lapping waves
Appear as sacred and legendary
As heaven.
Tears turn to stone
Conscience grows wings.
Fly away.
Pleading energy
Let free.

 "You could be my unintended
Choice, to live my life extended...." Muse

"Even when we're apart we'll still be under the same sky," LJ Smith

"Hiding in the musty attic is Elusive
She sits, cross legged in a midst dark cobwebs
Several forms scurry to seek shelter
Beneath her levitating shadow.
Her back rigid , eyes glassy
Gazes intently at time escaping
Sliding, smoothly, as sand sprinkles
Through the hour glass,
A single tear grazes her misty cheek." Lani

© Copyright 2000 Lani_DarkOne - All Rights Reserved
Lucius Cade
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
1 posted 2000-06-09 03:18 PM

Wow, I really liked this. I know what you mean it was hard to understand. But I noticed each line had something different to say about you. Great poem

 Lucidity is the answer to all problems

since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
2 posted 2000-06-09 03:47 PM

Wow! IT's great, no's fantastic!

"Distant echoes of unnerving mystical
Chimes of lapping waves
Appear as sacred and legendary
As heaven."

My favourite part of the poem, and I think I understand it. But I think, to every person, it will mean something else.

Wonderful poem!!

 Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach.

Matchstick McGee
Junior Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 26
Austin, Texas
3 posted 2000-06-10 08:49 PM

I don't know whether or not I necessarily understood what it said about you, but the point, at least for me, is the way that it speaks to me. I tend to hide too, and this poem relates to me and describes my life in a way that few do. I will remember this one, please keep writing!


Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2007-11-15 07:23 PM



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