The fall fell into puddles...

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Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-06-04 12:58 PM

The fall fell into puddles and reflected
Right through the cloud’s swaying tides,
It resurrected to new heights
And in the lucid, shinning lights,
It dimly glimmered in the night
And grimly sighted on the earth, --

There... unexpected,
A tempest rose so full of verve!
And lightning with extensive strides
Skipped flights of stairs
And struck with stripes of blaring glares--
So scarcely scattered.

And only battered trees objected
But ineffectively!--
Defected,
The frail trees, deprived of pride,
Their final leaves began to hide,
They stood exposed and unprotected.

The television diagnosed
A coming calm,
But I envisioned
The grace and power of the storm, --
I was effected by the fall
I fell in love, --
I resurrected!

<!signature-->

<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="1" color="#000080"> "I will not whole die, my soul in sacred lyre,
will outlive my dust and will escape decay,
And in the moonlit sphere, my glory will not tire
As long as poets still remain" A. Pushkin

</font>

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 06-04-2000).]

ILoveSrfrs
Member

since 1999-11-14

Posts 69
California

1 posted 2000-06-04 02:59 AM

this is a fabulous poem. personally I think everything about it is perfect, I love the word usage and use of exclamation points and how you compared love to being "resurrected." this is great!

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

2 posted 2000-06-04 02:56 PM

Thank you, I love writing in this style... rhyming and alliteration go well together.

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

3 posted 2000-06-04 05:35 PM

The sort of effortless projection of image and metaphore that you have is what I strive to achive in my writing. I think I'm pretty much stuck with the way I write though. I actually have several different stlyes, but if I could improve upon just one and be consisant, I'd be much happier. Keep my goal held high.

Jeremy Halstead

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

4 posted 2000-06-04 08:41 PM

Well, that only comes with experience and practice... Keep writing! But I suggest that you keep working on different styles... it makes poetry more interesting to read.

Isabelle
Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 176
Indiana

5 posted 2000-06-04 11:08 PM

I think you have a great talent. I love reading your poems. I just wish I could write this way. I'm so unhappy with my poems they are getting so boring to me. Anyhow, keep up the work.

Jeanna

"Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls."
~Voltaire~

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

6 posted 2000-06-05 02:30 PM

I went throught the same thing, believe me... Reading helped me expand my ideas and just keep writing, and your poetry is slowly going to improve...

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