Teen Poetry #2 |
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Rob |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
I haven't written in ages, due to severe writers block and a busy schedule. This is a dedication to a friend - Rob - who committed suicide in March of this year. - Vreni You held the world, your life, in your hands But, alas, the hourglass has released its sands Your time is up, the Fate's ship has docked Though your soul runs, your destiny's locked Now you scratch and claw the towering wall That's essence surrounds you as you fall You cannot stop now, deeper you stumble Other's conscience in your ears, a low rumble. You scream loudly to drown out that sound, Easier ignored than acknowledged, you've found. Voices plea, implore, begging you to pause and listen, The collective hears the gun, sees the blood glisten. And as you near the bottom of your voidless descent, We attempt to catch you, the full impact prevent But we arrive too late, you've collided with the floor Our screams, your screams, cease, the silence a deafening roar. You break the solace with a shrill laugh and a trademark grin, Free from the pain at last, you no longer hear our voice's din. Desperate to reach you, we pray you receive this message last: We miss you dearly, our affections posthumously amassed. - dedicated to Rob |
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© Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved | |||
mickel2995 Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 48 |
WOW!!! First let me begin by telling how sad I am for you because of this tradgic loss! I know how hard it is, One of my great friends was killed in a car acciddent a month and a week ago. Though the circumstances are different, I know what you are going through and I am deeply, deeply sorry! But hang in there it all gets better. Anyways, LOVED,LOVED, the piece!!! Please keep it up! Micale |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Thanks for the support and understanding, Micale! Being the rather poor poet that I am, this cannot even begin to pay homage to my friend, but alas, it's the best I could produce. Thanks again for replying! ;.) Vreni |
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Vanessa New Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 5 |
I'm extremely sorry for your loss, but I'm sure that Rob would appreciate the dedication. I have no idea how you feel losing a friend that way, but I know what it's like to lose friends to car accidents, so I sympathize for you! I find it easier to write about things that are happening in my life otr have happened. Mostly I write when I'm upset because it helps me feel better. I think this is your own little(or big) way of dealing with the loss of Rob and it also lets him know what he means to you. I bet he's proud of you for writing this! I know I sure am!!! |
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Snickers Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88East Haddam, CT |
I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand what it feels like to lose somebody to suicide. Last month, 2 guyz from my school killed themselves by driving into a tree (I used to go out with one of them). Though I didn't know either of them very well, the pain was (still is) incredible and very difficult to deal with. Now my very best friend is suicidal (though I got her help-I guess it was too late to help Jeff and Mike) and I have to admit I often feel that way too. So suicide has been a big subject for me in my poems lately. It's a very serious matter which affects your emotions so strongly and I guess it's good to write about how u feel. Again, I'm so sorry. It's too bad that people don't realize that things DO get better and if only they could reach out for help they will. Very excellent poem and so heartfelt. Great work! ~<3 Alwayz~ **Nikki** |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Vanessa and Nikki: Thanks for your support and understanding! It truly means a lot! Vreni |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
Yes this poem is fantastic, fantasticaly sad but still a perfect reflection of your emotions. Great poem Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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LoveBug![]()
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a well written, but such a sad poem and situation. It's always awful when someone you love throws away God's greatest gift, and I hope writing this helped you cope. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Thanks for the compliments, Lucius and Lovebug! I apprecaite them! Vreni |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
dear vreni, that was a most fantastic piece of poetry. whatever the cause of Rob's decision, i'm sure he smiles when he reads the "message last" that you have sent him. i hope your poem has helped you cope. i stretch out with compassion. keep strivin'. thanks for the awesome post. We all got somethin' we need to atone for. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Firstly let me just say that I am deeply sorry or your loss. I lost someone I knew earlier this year as he was hit by a train. I hope that you are alright. ![]() Secondly, this is a fantastic piece of writing. There is just so much emotion put into it. Great work. ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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