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Lani_DarkOne
Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152
UK

0 posted 2000-05-28 01:11 PM


Cool icy fingers brush my tear drenched face
Takes my breath away
To the place where sea touches sky
Ripples, sighs as she struggles to meet me
Sand beneath my bare feet, I am 'safe'
I smile bitterly.

Breath of cold wind, as she wearily coughs
Whips hair from pale face,
Dries tears from swollen eyes.
Watery hands grope in frenzy
Mounting anger, for she can't reach me.
I laugh my musical laugh, ruthlessly taunting
Her.

Clear sharp sky revealing mystical treasures
Glinting down at her rage in oblivious displeasure.
Oblivious, she lunges with fury, inland at me.
Only to be painfully dragged away
Defeated by the dominant moon.

Inhaling the potent mixture of Earth,Sea,
Sky.
Calms, penetrates the storm of emotions
Deep inside.
Melting my heart, brightening my soul
Longing ignites, a restraint of vicious blue-white
Lightning.
Heart starts pounding, adrenaline washes over my
Taut, tense, trembling
Form.

Open my mouth to scream, whisper flutters in
The crisp night air instead.
Angry roar of hot-tempered Sea, distant as the solitary
Stars.

Dreamlike, I step towards her.
The opposition.
My destiny.
Startled as prey surrenders to predator
She gathers the tornado of fiery anger, love,
Hate.
That many troubled souls had
Burdened her with.
A wild cat preparing for a hasty kill.

She lunges.
Forceful as a shadpw, violent as the sun
Dark as eternity.
Looming for a split second, before crashing upon
Me.
Contemplating whether she had the will
To do it
Or not.

I leap.
To an impossible, supernatural height.
The lightening struck, I am free
Sailing, gliding, up and above that immense wave
Of pure utter darkness.
A fine damp mist sprays my flying form
The frosty, salty breath of the Sea bathes my unbelievable
Wonderful
Form.

Flying, flying up and up,
Tears well in my stinging eyes
As the inky night sky doesn't reach down to
Greet me.

I don't care.
I am free.
Free with the unpredictable sky
With it's condescending stars, and the mighty
Moon, as my companions of the night.

I gaze down, momentarily forgotten at the
Earth and Sea.
The slow, lazy rumble of the Sea brings me back
To reality.
I have been released from the savage powers of
The Earth and Sea.
Into the night sky, something
That I had dreamt most frequently.

But as I float above the diabolical Sea
And the human-wrecked Earth,
Whispers echo in my darkened mind,
As the fresh, night air envelopes me.
I cannot go back.

Hysteria builds up in my frozen body
I am powerless, I am trapped
Racing across the clouds, I cry
Why me?Why me?
Tears that come so easily to me,
Spurt from my eyes, hot, fierce.
Angry.
I laugh, a cruel, chilling sound, ringing through the
Lonely observant night sky.

Dreams must never come true
As these words, I utter soundlessly, floats in a misty
Swirl through the frosty air, the only movement
In this fragile moment of pure impenetrable stillness.

My command now remains true
For dreams hurt most furiously, if come into this vicious
World that you live in.
Dreams are the most delicate ethereal
Sensitive substance in the whole Universe.
If exposed to the wrath and fury of Earth and Sea, become
Distorted, twisted while you end up hurting, crying
Helplessly.
Lonely.
I know.
For I am ruled by the cunning, callous Earth and Sea.
I am the Sky.


© Copyright 2000 Lani_DarkOne - All Rights Reserved
Daysleeper
Member
since 2000-04-23
Posts 119

1 posted 2000-05-28 08:02 PM


This is incredible. I normally don't read terribly long poems, but this one captivated me, right from:

Breath of cold wind, as she wearily coughs
Whips hair from pale face,
Dries tears from swollen eyes.
Watery hands grope in frenzy
Mounting anger, for she can't reach me.
I laugh my musical laugh, ruthlessly taunting
Her.

Clear sharp sky revealing mystical treasures
Glinting down at her rage in oblivious displeasure.
Oblivious, she lunges with fury, inland at me.
Only to be painfully dragged away
Defeated by the dominant moon.

The metre you use is absolutely gorgeous and the images you create are spellbinding. This is worthy of publication... don't stop writing.

...Daysleeper...


 "We prefer to do things comfortably" said the Controller.
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
"In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy."
"Alright then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy." -Aldous Huxley "Brave New World"



LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

2 posted 2000-05-29 10:59 AM


Wow, this is beautiful! I love your writing. I sometimes feel that dreams are, as you say,the most delicate ethereal sensitive substance in the whole universe, but they are also the foundation of many great accomplishments, when coupled with ambition. Although they can be cruel, they can also be merciful, taking you away from an even crueler reality. Sorry, I'm a dreamer, I had to say some words in defence! Anyway, welcome to Passions! We're lucky to have someone like you with us. I'll be looking forward to your next piece.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

3 posted 2000-05-29 12:28 PM


I must agree with Daysleeper and Lovebug.... this is incredible!  Your choice of metaphors is astounding - I love the continual use of Earth, Sea, and Sky.  The piece has an overall ethereal effect, much like the dreams you describe! Nice job!
                                      Vreni

Lani_DarkOne
Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152
UK
4 posted 2000-05-29 02:13 PM


Thanx everyone who replied. I wrote this a year ago but it's my personal favourite out of all the stuff i've written.
It might not seem like it but i'm a dreamer, but i've realised dreaming hurts way too much...if you dream like i do (which is escaping from reality).

Thanks again!

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
5 posted 2000-05-30 03:03 AM


wow, great words!!
Welcome to passions, may your stay be long and poetful, hehe.. I love this, and yeah, i don't usually stay to read long poems either, but I just HAD to read the twist at the end.. your descriptions are.. umm, VERY GOOD!! ^_^

Lynne

Vanessa
New Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 5

6 posted 2000-05-30 12:28 PM


The only thing that I can say at this moment in time is this: Your poem is absolutely breathtaking. I've never read a poem and pictured what it represents before, until now. Keep writing!!!!!!!!
Love,
Vanessa

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