Teen Poetry #2 |
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Only Fourteen |
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Sario New Member
since 2000-05-17
Posts 2 |
Fourteen Fourteen years I waited for the one I thought was you Fourteen years too little time for what you put me through Fourteen years all wasted for just one hour with you Fourteen years with a broken heart Fourteen years and my world torn apart Fourteen years weren't you so bold to break the heart of a fourteen year old. |
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© Copyright 2000 Sario - All Rights Reserved | |||
Daysleeper Member
since 2000-04-23
Posts 119 |
Very sad, and heartfelt. Your rhyme-scheme is unbeatable. Very nice. Keep writing... ...Daysleeper... "We prefer to do things comfortably" said the Controller. "But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin." "In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy." "Alright then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy." -Aldous Huxley "Brave New World" |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
I agree with the above.. hehe.. this is certainly something, Sario!! So.. deep.. hehe loved reading this.. I will be watching for other work of yours.. Lynne |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Whew...this one is so full of emotion. I think the style is very good. Love and hugs, Lizzie ![]() "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Courtney New Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 8 |
this is sooo true w/ me too.i'll be fourteen in July.nice job! -Rebekah--username--Courtney |
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Jennie New Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 5 |
You are really good at writing.. It was sad and heartfelt. Keep writing! |
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Vball Chickie1624 Member
since 2000-05-14
Posts 116New York |
...that's so sad...but very well written. it's an excellent poem, keep writing!!! - Danielle ![]() "Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do." "The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say." - Anais Nin "Follow your own heart, not others." |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Love bites, dont it? Don't worry, it better as you get older, at that age, everyone is a bit confused about thier feelings (wait, did i say it gets better?) I could give you more specfic advice, but these internet handle are so darn ambigious... Ok, short and sad, to the point, i like that style, i myself tend to wander to and fro, with no particular point in my writtings. Welcome to passions, Great first post! !Deranger! |
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