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Teen Poetry #2
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New Member
since 2000-05-17
Posts 2

0 posted 2000-05-17 10:41 PM


Fourteen years I waited
for the one I thought was you
Fourteen years too little time
for what you put me through
Fourteen years all wasted
for just one hour with you
Fourteen years with a broken heart
Fourteen years and my world torn apart
Fourteen years weren't you so bold
to break the heart of a fourteen year old.

© Copyright 2000 Sario - All Rights Reserved
since 2000-04-23
Posts 119

1 posted 2000-05-17 10:50 PM

Very sad, and heartfelt. Your rhyme-scheme is unbeatable. Very nice. Keep writing...


 "We prefer to do things comfortably" said the Controller.
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
"In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy."
"Alright then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy." -Aldous Huxley "Brave New World"

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
2 posted 2000-05-18 02:17 AM

I agree with the above.. hehe..
this is certainly something, Sario!!
So.. deep.. hehe

loved reading this.. I will be watching for other work of yours..


Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
3 posted 2000-05-18 05:57 AM

Whew...this one is so full of emotion. I think the style is very good.

Love and hugs,

 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

New Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 8

4 posted 2000-05-18 08:25 PM

this is sooo true w/ me too.i'll be fourteen in July.nice job!


New Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 5

5 posted 2000-05-18 08:41 PM

You are really good at writing.. It was sad and heartfelt.  Keep writing!
Vball Chickie1624
since 2000-05-14
Posts 116
New York
6 posted 2000-05-18 10:10 PM

...that's so sad...but very well written.  it's an excellent poem, keep writing!!!

- Danielle  

 "Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do."

"The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say."
- Anais Nin

"Follow your own heart, not others."

since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
7 posted 2000-05-19 02:37 AM

Love bites, dont it?

Don't worry, it better as you get older, at that age, everyone is a bit confused about thier feelings (wait, did i say it gets better?)

I could give you more specfic advice, but these internet handle are so darn ambigious...

Ok, short and sad, to the point, i like that style, i myself tend to wander to and fro, with no particular point in my writtings.

Welcome to passions, Great first post!


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