navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » Tears Tears
Teen Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Tears Tears Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
New Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 3

0 posted 2000-04-26 09:26 PM

<font face="Comic Sans MS, Arial, Verdana" color="#2f2f4f" size="2">Tears Tears he cries them at night maybe because no one loves him alright he thought he was bad but he lost the only love he had now he is mad

He broke my heart once and my best friends twice but it came back on him hard now he sits all alone

I look at him at school now whos cool but he was such a fool

When I look in his eyes I see he wants to cry but he will try to deny because he has always been like that, that's why I can't take him back

I try to stay away from him but I can't so it starts to begain I took him back once more and now my heart has been torn

He told me he had changed so I really thought he had well I did till this very night now I'm in the hospital I guess love is blind so I wrote this Tears Tears I cry them at night mainly because I died this very night

© Copyright 2000 Farrah - All Rights Reserved
Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 39
1 posted 2000-04-26 10:05 PM

Welcome to Passions!  This is a good first post.  I can't wait to read more.

son of man
since 2000-04-25
Posts 125

2 posted 2000-04-26 10:25 PM

touching poem. real and clearly stated with lots of interesting rhyme. try a better format next time, though so the seperate thoughts dont collide with each other and cause a reader to have to back up and read it again. i enjoyed this work.


Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
3 posted 2000-04-26 11:05 PM

Welcome to passions!  This is indeed a heartfelt, wonderful first post.  I too recommend you break up your lines however, to make it easier reading.  Keep up the good work though!

 *Krista Knutson*

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
~*Albert Schweitzer*~

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
4 posted 2000-04-27 10:27 AM

Farrah, keep em comin, your style will improve in time.
Welcome to Teen Passions!

 A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives.

Poet deVine
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-05-02 01:19 AM

Welcome to the family! I like this but do think the poem would be easier to read if it was formatted.  
Junior Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 36
6 posted 2000-05-02 10:32 PM

funny how we seem to go back to them no matter how bad they hurt us.  I like your style.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » Tears Tears

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary