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Teen Poetry #2
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Junior Member
since 2000-04-19
Posts 27

0 posted 2000-04-20 11:22 PM

In the past couple of months I’ve began to fall deeper and deeper in love with you.
It is like you have me under a spell.
A spell of misery.
A spell that makes me love you no matter what I do to try and not love you.
It is like a trance that I’ve fallen into
And now that I’ve fallen into it I can’t snap out of it.
yet I’ve gotten so much advice on what to do I’ve chosen to ignore it all.
I should’ve listened to it though.
I’ve been told not to get mixed up in this mess.
Yet I did any ways.
Cause I’m stubborn and did what I wanted to do.
I guess I just had to learn for myself.
And now I’ve fallen to far into the trance.
I can’t get out of it.
I can’t stop from going farther.
But now I’m getting my heart stomped on, pulverized into small tiny pieces.
For it isn’t me you love it is her who you love.
I don’t know what I am to you.
I don’t know what you think you are doing to me.
I’m not even sure what you are doing to me.
But it hurts.
It hurts really bad.
I wish I could pull away from you.
But it seems the more my mind and body try to pull away from you my heart pushes me
towards you.
I know people have said to follow your heart it will guide you to the right spot.
But if I keep following mine I’m only going to hurt myself even worse then I already am.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I feel lost.
I don’t know how or when I’m going to fall our of your grip.
But I know I have to and fast.
Before I hurt myself or anyone else...

This is one of the very few poems I've ever written. I haven't been writting poems for more then 2 or 3 months at the most. I am not very good but it is one of the ways I exprese what I feel. This one and many others are undelivered poems to a guy I really care about and love. But I can't have him for he is going out with someone that is very close to me. Any comment on the poem would be great. I would love to learn to write better poetry.

© Copyright 2000 hopeful - All Rights Reserved
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

1 posted 2000-04-21 12:07 PM

this is a good first post. welcome to passions!
good poetry is based on the message you you expressed your's in the eye of the beholder.
just because someone may not consider a poem the best...doesn't mean the poem is worth any less than that of a shakespearean sonet

keep up the great posts....coz they are already great...


since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
2 posted 2000-04-21 02:57 AM

Welcome to passions.

No matter whan ANYONE tells you, don't give up.  Not on love and not with your poems.
And more importantly, don't let ANYONE tell you that your writing isn't any good.  It may not be what they are into, but if it comes from your heart and you mean what you write then it's the most perfect poem you could write.
As for this's fantastic.
Some might say that the grammer isn't correct and some ideas are foggy, but it's a poem that is so beautiful in itself that it defy's english rules.
I've very much been in that situation and I know what you are talking about.  You have expressed your feelings so well.
Keep up the writing you have a talent and if you ever want to talk about any thing, I am always here.

Love Alway,

Poet deVine
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2000-04-21 08:44 AM

Welcome to the family! Please check your email for a special welcome.  
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