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Teen Poetry #2
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Someone spotted a fruit...
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Someone spotted a fruit... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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*This is another translation of V.Vysotky Someone spotted a fruit, still unripe Shook the stem and it fell, lacking poise There’s one who did not sing a line And was left unaware of his voice Perhaps, he had conflicts with fate And by chance, his plans went amiss But, the guitar string has already been laid And the flaw was unknowingly missed He started humbly with a “do” But never finished that one note His first accord fell much too flat He made an unexciting vice A dog was barking, and a cat Was chasing mice... It’s funny, don’t you think it’s wry? He left his joke half-way complete He did not fully taste his wine He didn’t even take a sip He was still only plotting his fret He seemed timid and slow to begin And his soul, as if droplets of sweat, Perspired from under his skin Merely starting a duel, so inane He walked slowly onto the floor Only grasping the rules of the game While the ref hadn’t opened the score He yearned to know so much at once And yet, he never quite advanced Still no conclusion could be drawn He never traveled deep enough And her, the one who’s still alone He lacked a chance to wholly love It’s funny, don’t you think it’s droll? He hurried, ran, but all in vain And questions that he hadn’t solved Unsolved remained What I’m telling you now aren’t lies He was pure to the style he held On the snow, he was writing her rhymes And it’s sad that the snow had to melt It was snowing that day, and at least He was free to write on the snow On the run, he caught with his lips Crystal flakes in their brilliant glow To her, in a silver-gilt surrey He never made it all the way He had no time to sprint nor fly He never ran, the runaway His star-sign—Taurus-- from up high Just lapped the ice-cold Milky Way It’s kind of funny, don’t you think? While lacking seconds, time was tight, And from a single missing link There’s a halt, unfinished flight... Seemed funny, didn’t it? Of course To me and you, it surely did A bird in flight, a racing horse... Whose fault is it? Whose fault is it? [This message has been edited by Master (edited 11-02-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Master, I enjoyed this poem. Can I ask you a question though? And this is not to point any fingers. Why is it you have ceased to reply to other's poems? I have seen you reply to others before...but not for a long time. Now it just seems that the only poems you reply to are your own-why? ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
You want the truth, I haven't been able to find anything that really grabbed my attention lately. I'm still reading, but most of the poems have worn-out meanings and lack good rhythm and rhyme (and I really have no clue how to critique a free verse poem). I haven't been commenting on many poems because... well for one, I don't consider myself a critic and two... I don't want to be too harsh on the writers and three... I don't want to simply say that I like it to everything I read. I found it that too many people do that, they say, "great writing" when they don't even understand the poems. Well that's my explanation, I hope you understand! |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
I understand, Master, However, I never say good poem or great work unless I mean it. ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Now this poem made more sense to me the the other interpertations of Vysotky I have read from you. I still do not know the poet except through your work. I enjoyed reading this but can not validly critique it. |
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