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Teen Poetry #2
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New Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 4

0 posted 2000-03-18 09:47 PM

Am I right?
Or am I wrong?
Your Beauty is just too strong…

You’re the passion to one’s heart,
And the harmony to one’s song.
I try so hard to approach you,
But I don’t want to do no wrong.

You’re the girl of one’s dreams,
And you contain the key to my heart.
I would cross a thousand rivers,
Just so we wouldn’t be apart.

I try to find the pathway,
Into your loving heart.
And I try to overcome my fears,
But we are still so far apart.

I shrivel when I see you,
And I roll up into a ball.
I do contain your number,
But the phone won’t let me call.

The words do not get through,
They vanish in thin air.
I just wish we could be as one,
And show you how much I care.

I want to spend time with you
And have an interesting conversation.
Yes I can admit I have strong feelings for you,
And that is also my number one sensation.

I just want to let you know
That I am here for you.
And if there is anything I can do,
Just please give me a clue…

© Copyright 2000 ArghJae - All Rights Reserved
Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 15

1 posted 2000-03-18 10:40 PM

WOW you have me in Awh!!! Any girl would be very lucky to have a guy care that much about them! It is a wonderful poem and if you have not shown this to the girl that it is about you should do it as soon as possible! you never know she may have the same feeling towards you but is just to shy to tell you! I guess you'll never know unless you try!!!! Keep up the good work!!!

 *if you love someone let them go, if they return their love was yours, if they don't their love wa never yours to begin with*

Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
2 posted 2000-03-18 10:48 PM

I enjoyed your poem, and I agree that you should share it with its subject. My only advice to you is that I think it would sound more poetic to replace the word *contain* with *posess* both times you used it. But I believe your sentiments were expressed very honestly and I think you are very talented.

 *There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)

Junior Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 13
Northern California
3 posted 2000-03-21 11:40 PM

this is tight bro. I know you wanted more replies so here it is! HaHa... For reals though this is a tight poem... keep them coming man...

Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
4 posted 2000-03-22 12:15 PM

hey, nice poem. Keep up the good work man. Welcome to passions.

 "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." I am lost in my own mind.

since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
5 posted 2000-03-23 09:55 AM

Welcome to Passions, for starters.
I love this poem-
I would melt if someone wrote something like that for me.
Show it to the person you wrote it for,
when you think the time is right,
of course.
~Kristi Lynn

Junior Member
since 2000-03-15
Posts 16

6 posted 2000-03-23 03:21 PM

I wish the boys I know would talk like that. Very few are that honest and it's a nice change.
New Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 2

7 posted 2000-03-23 09:24 PM

Very nice poem!!  This girl must be something
to have you for a friend-or boyfriend.  I wish someone would write a poem like that for
me.  I think that you should show it to the person that you wrote it for.
     By the way~ my name is Heather

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