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Teen Poetry #2
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One Night Together
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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One Night Together |
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Sara Junior Member
since 2000-02-24
Posts 27LaCrosse WI, United States |
This poem was written for my ex-boyfriend after I was foolish enough to believe his lies again. Again it has happened, I let myself believe that you would be different this time, I wore my heart on my sleeve. One night we shared like nothing changed, how sad. Now I see you're always the same and what happened that night was bad. You led me to believe, with words so sweet and a touch so caring, that you wanted me back. Our love we'd be sharing. After being together you said you'd call, how naive I am. You used me, because you knew I still loved you, a one night stand. You used my emotions so you could have your way, the next morning you couldn't wait to get away. I still don't want to believe that you lied. That's why that night at fireworks I cried. I love you with all my heart and I hate that we're going to be apart. There's nothing I can do, you're stubborn, always have been. So I'll just have to wait and see what will happen |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sara - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Very good poem Sara. It is so true and I have a friend who is in the stage of denial with someone like that. It is good that you got out of it because so many people don't. Good work. ~AF~ |
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Gadget28 Junior Member
since 2000-02-21
Posts 33Miami, Florida United States |
This was beautiful, welcome to Passions! I'm a new member myself too!  |
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sunshine17 Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 89Bonduel, WI USA |
That's a good poem. It's scary to think that a person can be so mean and cruel and who could forget heartless. I know how you feel because I've been there before and I'm kind of there right now. I wish you luck in whatever your choice is with handling it..... |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Welcome to passions! Beautiful first post!! Salma "Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders." |
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Sara Junior Member
since 2000-02-24
Posts 27LaCrosse WI, United States |
Thanks for the comments everyone. I was a little scared to post a poem, I usually don't let anyone read them. If anyone has any helpful pointers I would appreciate them. |
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Angela16 Junior Member
since 1999-11-19
Posts 37USA |
This poem was written really well. I have a friend who just went through that too. Angela |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Welcome to the family! Nice work! As for a pointer, breaking up some of your longer lines would help the flow of this better. Other than that, this is really beautiful and sad work. Great job! *Krista Knutson* "Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~ |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Wonderful poem. This was a great first post. As for a few pointers. I would watch the long lines, punctuation, and the structure. They are the most important things to remember along with spelling. But in all, good job. |
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Sara Junior Member
since 2000-02-24
Posts 27LaCrosse WI, United States |
Just bumping it up. |
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