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She wanted to know...an inspiration!
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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She wanted to know...an inspiration! |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
She wanted to know what love was so bad, He was out to hurt ,but she took his hand, And so a story was written , sad yet true, Now she is gone, she left no clue , When he asked her for love one angry night, It will be like no other he said , well touch new heights, She gave him her smile,and let herself be held , He marveled at his powers , this hate that he felt, He shoved her up against a wall , and poured in evil of his, Making her whimper and plead , poisoning her newfound bliss, What was left later is too gruesome to be told, As he stood back and watched death unfold, She lied in a corner and her dreams Un -dreamt, God was remorseful for the devil he had sent, Her body so dark , a truth no one could claim, As the wind sadly ate that dying flame!sf |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
I'm not sure about the "inspiration" of this poem . . . it seems to me almost as if a girl started out loving a guy who didn't want to/couldn't be loved and as a result to prove that he couldn't bew loved he forced something on her (sex? -- am I allowed to say that word here?) any way, maybe I don't completely understand this poem but it leaves me with a very sad feeling. I like it though . . . |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
I'm not sure about the "inspiration" of this poem . . . it seems to me almost as if a girl started out loving a guy who didn't want to/couldn't be loved and as a result to prove that he couldn't bew loved he forced something on her (sex? -- am I allowed to say that word here?) any way, maybe I don't completely understand this poem but it leaves me with a very sad feeling. I like it though . . . "The worst of what people do to one another is deceive. Because when you love someone you control their version of reality. If you lie to them that's like making them autistic so that what they believe is reality is in fact, not their true situation at all. |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
great poem Faith! really! I mean that!  just being hard on ya  Anyway..It is hard to write something like that..and you did it well!stay cool faith  ~~Lavada~~ "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Well, it was a very well written poem, but I fear that your topic will someday happen to me- it nearly has, and has happened to one of my close friends... I did like your poem, don't get me wrong, and maybe it'll get some poeple to think about things before they go too far... ~Kristi Lynn "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
I really liked this poem. All the mystery and darkness makes it very interesting and horribly sad. Great poem faith. I lvoe your work. Salma |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Ahh.. thank you faith. I think this should go right along with my baby girl poem and the rest I have written on the topic. Good job. I hope you continue to write on the topic because you have shown a great talent on wording and explaining the issue to people. I aplaud you... *Clapping vigorously* "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
Thank u all for yer comments and suggestions ...once again i would like u all to know that only some of my poems are based on ppersonal experience! N thanx Jer ...it always makes me happy too see u reply! paste some more of yer poems soon |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
this was a great poem faith keep up the good work. It had alot of feeling in it and some people miss that. Great Job   To be or not to be...that is the question. |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
faith: angry, disturbing and violent... but still i like it... i have to say i dont understand the reference to "flames" at the end... perhaps you could clear that up for us?... seemed to me a story of fatal date rape... but i could be wrong... let each take what he will sincerely, jerome the melancholy priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
Hey poetry kills...Yeh thats what its about...The ending well...see lets put it this way that all long the GIRL was burning for his love .....but in the end when she found out the truth...all that was left in her was a dying flame ..instead of the burning fire....i hope i m clear enough! Any way thanx for yer comments..they mean a lot ..keep em comin!f |
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potrygirl Junior Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 23Peoria, Arizona, United States |
Great poem Faith I love the thought it puts in your brian. As far as really making you think. It really makes me want to be careful with who I trust in love. I like it Stacye |
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Smore Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 67el paso |
this is a difficult topic, but you wrote about it well. Not many people can write about something like that, and not as well as you did, good job. Love isn't a miracle in life, the miracle of life is love. |
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