untitled (don't have my journal so i'm working an old one form memory)

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Teen Poetry #2

untitled (don't have my journal so i'm working an old one form memory)

rich-pa
Member

since 2000-02-07

Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana

0 posted 2000-02-07 08:58 PM

have the found the queen
without a king?
and if they have,
has she locked off her heart with an iron ring?

or is she providential
on her own
in a melancholy sadness
on the brink of madness?

she's bought her stairway
but does it lead to heaven?
that's for her to decide,
hey...if it makes her happy...

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

1 posted 2000-02-07 09:55 PM

Exellent job! I like this a lot. Especially "or is she providential
on her own
in a melancholy sadness
on the brink of madness?" Very insightful and well said. Welcome to Passions!

*Krista Knutson*

One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.
~*Antonio Porchia*~

Jer
Member

since 1999-12-02

Posts 443
USA

2 posted 2000-02-07 11:04 PM

Great job. Welcome to Passions. I hope you find you journal.

"WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler

Mistikman
Senior Member

since 2000-01-10

Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA

3 posted 2000-02-07 11:46 PM

Interesting poem, I like it. Welcome to passions, may your stay here be long and fruitful

I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

poetry_kills
Senior Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 549
new orleans

4 posted 2000-02-08 12:22 PM

rich-pa: *waa haa haa haa* you already know that i love your work, so i'll just tell you again: this is great

for some reason i like the last line best *heh* seems so apathetic... as if you took time to write this whole deep poem and then just gave up on the whole idea of nobility or salvation... keep the beat alive and hope to see you here in Passions regularly....

sincerely,
your brother:
jerome the mysterious priest

A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2000-02-08 01:49 AM

Jeez, with poetry like this, who needs a journal? The last line made me think of Sheryl Crow, though; curse you!

Mike

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member

since 1999-12-03

Posts 872
just about where I want to be

6 posted 2000-02-08 11:07 AM

Welcome to passions, rich...great poem too..that last line..WOW!

~~Lavada~~

P.S. Welcome again!

"For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin

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