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Thing Called Love
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Thing Called Love |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
Again I would appreciate any comments or suggetions especially on this poem. I wasn't to sure about this one but decided to submit anyhow. Thing Called Love Tears rolling down her cheek Theres no stopping them Tears of surpressed feelings Drop into the water As she looks at her reflection A reflection full of sadness A heart so broken By a thing called love Why does it do this That thing called love Rain pours like a thousand tears Sitting watching it He remembers when they were together A love never forgotten Yet a heart left behind empty A heart so broken By a thing called love Why does it do this That thing called love [This message has been edited by Isabelle (edited 01-31-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeanna - All Rights Reserved | |||
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KiKi Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 15 |
Very good poem....That thing called love hurts us everyday..It is hard to deal with but eventaully everyone has to deal with it..I hope to see more of your Poems..I really like your writing!! KIKI |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Wow.... the power! Great work... but I would get rid of the 3 stanza. Just a sugg. though! |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
isabelle: very good poem (you made the hopeless romantic in me come out again)... i think jer is right about the 3rd stanza though... it's unneeded and detracts from the depth and power of the piece... keep up the good work... i'll keep an eye out for your work in the future... sincerely, jerome the boy who can finally get into the bathroom A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Very very nice poem! I like the repetition of that one line, "that thing called love." It's very nice.....keep up the great work! Salooma |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Your emotion is very powerful in this poem. I can relate - espescially since I've been bumming over "this thing called love" all day. Good job, please write more! |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
Thanks for your responses. I also appreciate the catch on the third stanza thank you Jer. That wasn't suppose to be in there, as you notice i have deleted it. |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
WOW)! loved it...u go girl  LOL |
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