navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #3 » One in Six..... from my darker side and best to be read very slowly
Open Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic One in Six..... from my darker side and best to be read very slowly Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

0 posted 1999-10-17 08:10 PM


Click!
Pulling pressure

Click!
Empty chamber

Click!
Spinning cylinder

Click!
Hidden danger

Click!
You're a winner

BANG!
And the loser

© Copyright 1999 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 1999-10-17 08:20 PM


Whew...Russian Roulette....very well written, but very morbid.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
2 posted 1999-10-17 08:52 PM


As I said... "from my darker side." My thoughts don't normally run in this vain... all I can say about it was that I was visiting my favored fast food hell for lunch and just thought of the word "click." Then I thought "What can I do with 'click?'" Well, here ya go. Given that bit of history, I suppose you could look at it like eating one to many hamburgers and being hit with the cholesteral bullet. The result is the same.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 1999-10-17 09:35 PM


Well, to come up with something for 'click' I think you did very well. I would, however, have named it "Chamber Music". hehe
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 1999-10-17 09:51 PM


Whow, Andrew! This was a shocker! Dark side, indeed! I did something similar once, not the same topic though. I didn't even have the courage to print it out for myself to keep. You've more courage than I! Clever selection of words!

------------------
Denise

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 1999-10-18 07:43 PM


I am speachless. Definately darker my friend.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
6 posted 1999-10-18 09:29 PM


Sir Balladeer: A fine choice of titles. Perhaps I'll change it to such... I was also thinking about "16 and two-thirds percent"... You do the math!

Lady D: I treated this more as an excercise than anything else, so it took no great courage to write or post. I suppose if I had some personal connection with such an act it would be a different story. I really do kind of relate it to the hamburger given that heart attacks run in my family and they will most likely be the death of me. So there ya go... thanks for reading... always a pleasure to see you mark.

Lady Marilyn: Its nice to know my writing can have such an effect. My many thanks for your time and response.

Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
7 posted 1999-10-18 10:14 PM


Yikes!!!! Ewwwww.... Hey, this was even spooky! You were right, dark indeed.
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
8 posted 1999-10-18 10:31 PM


Hey, if you'd just put the round in the first chamber, you could have made it a haiku!!


"Click, you were lucky --
Spin, pressure on the trigger --
Bang! No more worries."

(Hey, now that's profound)

Just kidding of course ... this was raw and shocking, I love it!

Nocht

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
9 posted 1999-10-18 10:56 PM


Hey Nochtdraco... great haiku! Kind of like using a automatic... you don't ever want to be the first in line.
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
10 posted 1999-10-18 11:22 PM


LOL....being half polish, I'd be more likely to play Polish roulette....all the chambers are loaded. Just like the polish firing squad...where their in a circle and the victim is in the middle..

Seriously though...I thought it was very chilling. Good work.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #3 » One in Six..... from my darker side and best to be read very slowly

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary