Open Poetry #3 |
One in Six..... from my darker side and best to be read very slowly |
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Click! Pulling pressure Click! Empty chamber Click! Spinning cylinder Click! Hidden danger Click! You're a winner BANG! And the loser |
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© Copyright 1999 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Whew...Russian Roulette....very well written, but very morbid. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
As I said... "from my darker side." My thoughts don't normally run in this vain... all I can say about it was that I was visiting my favored fast food hell for lunch and just thought of the word "click." Then I thought "What can I do with 'click?'" Well, here ya go. Given that bit of history, I suppose you could look at it like eating one to many hamburgers and being hit with the cholesteral bullet. The result is the same. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, to come up with something for 'click' I think you did very well. I would, however, have named it "Chamber Music". hehe |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Whow, Andrew! This was a shocker! Dark side, indeed! I did something similar once, not the same topic though. I didn't even have the courage to print it out for myself to keep. You've more courage than I! Clever selection of words! ------------------ Denise |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I am speachless. Definately darker my friend. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Sir Balladeer: A fine choice of titles. Perhaps I'll change it to such... I was also thinking about "16 and two-thirds percent"... You do the math! Lady D: I treated this more as an excercise than anything else, so it took no great courage to write or post. I suppose if I had some personal connection with such an act it would be a different story. I really do kind of relate it to the hamburger given that heart attacks run in my family and they will most likely be the death of me. So there ya go... thanks for reading... always a pleasure to see you mark. Lady Marilyn: Its nice to know my writing can have such an effect. My many thanks for your time and response. |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Yikes!!!! Ewwwww.... Hey, this was even spooky! You were right, dark indeed. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Hey, if you'd just put the round in the first chamber, you could have made it a haiku!! "Click, you were lucky -- Spin, pressure on the trigger -- Bang! No more worries." (Hey, now that's profound) Just kidding of course ... this was raw and shocking, I love it! Nocht ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Hey Nochtdraco... great haiku! Kind of like using a automatic... you don't ever want to be the first in line. |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
LOL....being half polish, I'd be more likely to play Polish roulette....all the chambers are loaded. Just like the polish firing squad...where their in a circle and the victim is in the middle.. Seriously though...I thought it was very chilling. Good work. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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