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Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

0 posted 1999-10-15 12:03 PM

Bloodshot eyes from too long days,
...and even longer nights,
Cracked and weathered vinyl,
...flashing neon lights,
He sits alone atop a stool,
...barroom filled with haze,
One too many rounds again,
...Eyes with stupored glaze.
Clock with broken minute hand,
...hangs upon bare wall,
Must be nearly two a.m.,
...bartender yells, "Last Call."
A beer is placed upon the bar,
...no order ever made,
Tally placed on I.O.U.,
...that's how the bar tab's paid,
Cockroach runs across the floor,
...doesn't draw a glance,
As the juke box fills the bar,
...with strains of night's last dance,
"There is a house in New Orleans,
...they call the Rising Sun,
And its been the ruin of many a poor boy,
...and God I know I'm one."
And its been the ruin of many a poor boy,
...and God I know I'm one.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 1999-10-15 12:19 PM

Mike,
I like the double emphasis, nice job.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

2 posted 1999-10-15 12:22 PM

Applauds....finely told!

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 1999-10-15 01:08 PM

The atmosphere created is exceptional. Good mood poem.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 1999-10-15 02:07 PM

You've done well to transport the reader to the place, and I, too, like the repeat on the last lines.

Bravo!

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

5 posted 1999-10-15 11:03 PM

Thank you all for the comments. They are appreciated.

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

6 posted 1999-10-16 06:14 AM

Well done! I could smell the stale beer.

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

7 posted 1999-10-16 02:33 PM

So vividly described I had to step outside for a breath of fresh air!

Very good!

Those last lines, what song is that from and who sang it? My memory is betraying me again!

------------------
Denise

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

8 posted 1999-10-24 12:29 PM

Had to bring this back up!

------------------
Denise

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

9 posted 1999-10-25 08:59 AM

Sorry for not responding earlier Denise...
didn't see your question...
Eric Burden and the Animals...
House of the Rising Sun

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

10 posted 1999-10-25 08:25 PM

That's right! Of course it was! Seems like only yesterday, huh?! (Wish my brain worked like it did ...ummmmm...thirty years ago? Could it have been that long......Geeze maybe I am getting old!

Again, Fabulous piece, Mike!

------------------
Denise

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