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Toerag's Marriage
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Toerag's Marriage |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio 
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Old Toerag was a lonely man who had no teeth nor tan. He was ugly to the rotten core, Smelled, was dirty, do I need say more? Toerag was desperate for a wife He became sad and full of strife. But one day he went to his uncle's farm And he met his match, full of charm. She was sort of heavy, and moved slow, Had a wide butt which sunk real low. Her legs were skinny and sort of lean, And don't stand behind her or she'll get mean. She had no toes or any feet, She was a taste of hearty meat. Her favorite meal was nice green grass, And her breath smelled like dirty ass. Toerag though found love and married The love though always varied. One day she would love him dearly, But it never seemed to be sincerely. Toerag finally decided to take another course So he went and filed for a final divorce, This didn't hurt his wife named, Bessy dear, For she had no feelings 'cause she was an old bum steer. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Melissa - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Gee... everyone sure seems anxious to marry Toe off... I even thought I'd finally gotten lucky here till Blondie described the skinny legs! *G* So, Toe... ya been directing the ladies choir again? Tsk, tsk... you KNOW that upsets the husbands when you show all those housewives what they've been missing! |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Good job. Though Toe has to get lucky one of these days. Unlucky he definately is it seems...lol. suthrn...lmao....you poor soul. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Poor old Toe! How udderly ridiculous can he get. Suthern sent him out for a new jersey and he wound up in a cow pasture. I guess he felt at home since he is so much bull but not even a cow would want to see that posture in their pasture. Well, fruits don't want him, bovines don't want him...Hey, Suthern, you're still in the running! Good one, Blondie! |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
I'm thinking his next wife should be suthern, she might actually be the one to last in poor Toe's life. Thanks everyone for the comments. Suthern--ROTFL |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I saw him walking ‘cross the field His face aglow with passion We had been cyber pals And chatted in our own fashion He said he wanted to meet me He fell in love with my mind I warned him of my sagginess And of my great behind But when we met face to face I knew I’d met my dream Then he said all he wanted Was just my milk and cream! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Oh, my goodness!!! My sides hurt!!!!!  ------------------ Denise |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Good one Blondie! Toe didn't we tell ya you had to stay out of them cow pastures! LOL ROFL PdV! all he wanted was my milk and cream. |
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JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
ROFL ... Good one Blondie !! ... and thank you for the laugh ladies ...  |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
Thanks everyone! Can't wait to see what toe has in store for us NEXT |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well damn it! Think about it?...There's no single animals left?...Between Balladeer taking my steer, LongJohn and his sheep, sharing with Balladeer when he wants a change of meat?......I had that lovely mermaid yanno....then forgot about the wedding that day at the beach in my passion for hunting sea shells. But yanno Blondie?....you're name is so easy to work with...(most blondes are easy in one way or another yanno)...so, just get in line sweets....cuz I'm gonna gitya....yep....you will get a lickin' fersure.....many kinds if I had my way....but at least one kind fer sher!...LOL...well done though ya meannie! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Hey... when Toe said all he wanted was a piece of tail, I had no idea he was talking about a fly swatter! great poem, Blondie - and right on the mark. deVine - you are really something - lol. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
DeVine.! You stabbed me in the back?...And I've been so well behaved lately?....Whooops! That's the problem! I've read some of your naughty stuff...okay, okay, I'll come back Monday as the Toerag again...no more Mr. Nice Guy, no more turning the other cheek, (unless it's for naughty reasons to the women...THE WOMEN BALLADEER, THE WOMEN).....Okay...let me just go get my dictionary...I'll write something..you'll see,.....Now then, how do ya spell peauxwatree........ [This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 10-01-1999).] [This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 10-01-1999).] |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
ROFL....great one Blondie................Poet....too cute ......... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
This is so funny! I run in to the computer lab every few hours now just to see the next reply. Now all I want to know is, When am I gonna get a piece of the action! ( I sorta look like a cow.......I think ....j/k) ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Saxoness....ya gotta be careful about what ya say on here!!! LongJohn could still be lurking somewhere yanno?.....Geesch! "A piece of the action.....cow?......He's probably gone to rent an "x" rated version of Rawhide as I type!!! He has a fetish for Elmer's Glue....(the bottle with Elsie on it).....I could tell ya this story about LongJohn, a packing house, a side of beef and a....oh, never mind, but you should get what I'm talking about |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
So Toe, you have one in for me? Well my come backs are even better! So we'll have to see...Thanks everyone for the compliments...and we'll see what Toe comes up with next. |
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Missy F New Member
since 1999-08-24
Posts 8brunswick, oh USA |
What's next Toe getting married to a suthern poet that hoots like an owl and likes to play ball with a deer? Oh my goodness |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
ROTFL Missy! |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Toe, Woops! Didn't realize about LongJohn. I'll make sure and lock the barn door tonight. ; ) Don't want any prowlers! lol Blondie.....can't wait to see what you have next ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
Thanks |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
LOL thats all I can say.....thi sone deserves to be at the top. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
I'n still waiting for Toe's rebuttle. |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
[This message has been edited by Blondie (edited 10-04-1999).] |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Nice shot Blondie... LOL! Big Time... Ya know that Toe's favorite box comes from Gateway! |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
ROTFL...I would have never guessed! Probably reminds him of his old love...Bessy dear |
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