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Open Poetry #3
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Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA

0 posted 1999-10-08 08:19 AM


If you live on a rainbow can you escape pain....
Does someone look over you and keep you sane?
If you live on top of a mountain all by yourself....
Do things you do always work out?
If you live in the forest and sleep beneath a tree....
Does everything exist the way you want it to be?
If you live in the ocean with coral and fish....
Do all dreams come true the way that you wish?
If you live on a cloud and watch birds in flight....
Are promises kept, are feelings alright?
If you live in a field where the grass is tall....
Will somone be there to catch if you fall?
If you live in a world that has guarentees....
Would you be my friend and listen to me?


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~*~ I write to know I am alive ~*~

© Copyright 1999 Echo Rhayne - All Rights Reserved
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
1 posted 1999-10-08 08:58 AM


Echo-girl

One more verse

If you live your life down in the gutter,
Will you begin to talk like Toerag stutters?

This was a very thought-provoking poem. Are you having doubts or feelings of insecurity? If you are, that's great! You are normal. We all feel those things at times. Its what you do with those feelings that determines the path you take. There is one guarantee you have - you are one talented lady - did you know that?

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
2 posted 1999-10-08 10:06 AM


She knows she's talented LngJhn...I've been telling her she is! Echo, this is a really nice outlook, even if there are alot of questions....I wish I could find some of the places you've mentioned here....I know what it feels like to sit & bang your head - - crying inside 4 walls. I wrote about that myself last night....really tough night for me too. My eyes hurt this morning , but the long cry did me some good. I woke up with a little better attitude. Thank you for sharing this really thought-provoking piece. If we could find a "Utopia" like you speak of, a place of perfect life....I'm afraid it would quickly be overpopulated by the rush of folks moving there! So then it wouldn't be so peaceful after all....(sigh)

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I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale



WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
3 posted 1999-10-08 10:40 AM


This was really thought provoking. For you to put something like this out in such a short time. You really are talented, and you know what you're saying. This was spectacular!
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

4 posted 1999-10-08 12:53 PM


Echo, my friend, I understand that you are not particularly happy with me at this time and that is well enough, still I am your friend. I have walked the same path you do for far longer and would have you see past your pain. I know you do on occasion and I know remembering the love and fellowship in your life is hard when you sit in despair, only know that I am here for you always.
Enough of that.

Your poem is indeed thought provoking and succint. You truly do have talent, though what you do with it is your own decision. You give an example of a utopian world that many think does not exist. That is wrong. The world you envision is within us all, in the hearts and minds of those that love us and within our own for the love we bear others. Trite? Yes, but very true nonetheless. As to your last statement, I am your friend and I always listen, even to what you say with your silence.

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Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
5 posted 1999-10-08 01:52 PM


LJA...I am going to have to disagree with your comment about being talented. I appreciate your comments and all, but I do not see talent in what I write, so for that I must disagree. I do however like your added verse LoL.

PFF...Yes, you may be telling me I am, but that does not mean I believe it or that I really am. *huggles* how are you doing today? Are things any better? You know, you're right, if we ever were to find an 'Utopia' in a matter of seconds it would be over populated and definitely not peaceful. However, if you close your eyes, you can envision a place, any place you want it to be, and make it as peaceful as you wish. You don't actually have to be in that place to feel the peacefulness of it.

WD...haha, my 10 minute poem...who would have thought that the poems I write in a short amount of time get the best replies LoL. But once again, like all the rest, I have to disagree with the 'talented' portion of your reply.

DE...I already sent you a reply via ICQ about your first paragraph of the reply to my poem. As for the second yet once again I have to disagree with the 'talented' portion. Thank you for taking the time to read the poem though. And I am glad that you are my friend and that you will listen to me. That means a lot to me, although I know I don't always show the gratitude for it. *huggles*


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~*~ I write to know I am alive ~*~

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