Open Poetry #3 |
Broken (comments welcome) |
Mystic Essence Junior Member
since 1999-09-29
Posts 28 |
Alone within a swarming, shifting sea of thousands, Hidden within the shackles of a self imposed mask. My strength is shattering within my trembling hands, The stone shell breaking, the rawness now to last. I've always been the rock upon which you lean, The flickering candle to light your dark skies. But can't you see this diamond is loosing its gleam, These carefree wings can no longer gracefully fly? The never ending weight of guilt crumbles me, As upon my weary shoulders, you rest your world. My soul is drowning in darkly painfilled seas, And in disbelief I watch everything become unfurled. This glowing candle is gently fading to black, For no one truly understands the depth of my pain. Perhaps one day I shall find the strenth I lack, But for now, the shadow of my life is crimson stained. ------------------ My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~© Althea Willow, 1999~ [This message has been edited by Mystic Essence (edited 09-30-1999).] [This message has been edited by Mystic Essence (edited 10-01-1999).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is absolutely wonderful! The frustration and pain are palpable! Very well done! ------------------ Denise |
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Mystic Essence Junior Member
since 1999-09-29
Posts 28 |
Thank you very much, dsnyder! ------------------ My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~© Althea Willow, 1999~ |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Very well written. The crumbling of the feelings you feel, and the pain. You've done a great job describing it. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Mystic, Well done, enjoyed the read. |
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Mystic Essence Junior Member
since 1999-09-29
Posts 28 |
Thank all of you very much for your warm words. ------------------ My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~© Althea Willow, 1999~ |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Indeed, a well written piece, Mystic. your pain is vivid though you're not alone. ------------------ Michael Anderson I could not love except where Death Was mingling his with Beauty's breath - Or Hymen, Time, and Destiny Were stalking between her and me. EAP [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 09-30-1999).] |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
I loved the imagery you used to express the feeling...bravo! ------------------ Julie ------------------------- Thou who has given so much to me, give one thing more: a grateful heart. >George Herbert |
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Mystic Essence Junior Member
since 1999-09-29
Posts 28 |
Thank you all very much! ------------------ My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~© Althea Willow, 1999~ |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Beautifully done!! And can I ask why you call yourself Mystic Essence, how did you think of it? ------------------ What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny, compared to what lies within us. ~Isis~ |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
*sigh* HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Well done!! |
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Mystic Essence Junior Member
since 1999-09-29
Posts 28 |
Thank you all! Isis-- I've lurked around here a while under other name(s)..My essence has been here, I guess, and I am a lover of fantasy and mystic type things, so therefore, Mystic Essence seemed fitting. ------------------ My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~© Althea Willow, 1999~ |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Great Poem.......I like the way you called the shadow crimson ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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