Drowning.......(comments welcome.)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

0 posted 1999-10-01 11:35 PM

Hi, my name is Moonshine. I am new here
but really really like this forum. Here is a poem that I penned earlier this year, I don't know if it's up to the standard that you guys here are used to.......guess I'm gonna find out. It's called " Drowning."

I want to be naked,
And run on the beach,
Without feeling your eyes,

I want to feel the fresh sea air,
Have it weave all about me,
Without feeling your breath,

I want the soft ocean waves,
To gently wash over me,
Without feeling your touch,

I want the chill sea water,
To wrap itself around me,
Without feeling you inside,

I want the vast black ocean,
To heave and swalow me up,
Because you won't be there.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

1 posted 1999-10-02 12:03 PM

An excellent piece of writing

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

2 posted 1999-10-02 01:25 AM

I like this alot Moonshine......a good piece.....

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

3 posted 1999-10-02 03:50 AM

Thanx for your encouragement Pepper and Hootowl.

Huggs,
Moonshine.......

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

4 posted 1999-10-02 05:19 AM

Great poem....there are no standards you haveto worry about here

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

5 posted 1999-10-02 06:26 PM

Moonshine, this is an excellent piece,You have expressed yourself well. Welcome to Passions

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

6 posted 1999-10-02 10:21 PM

Dear Systematic Decay:

Thanx for your reply, is good to get +ve feedback. Love your quote ( Billy Corgan and SP have awesome music)

Dear Dark Angel:

Thanx for your reply and warm welcome to PIP. I hope to post more of my poems one day.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

7 posted 1999-10-02 10:34 PM

Moonshine,I look forward to reading more of your works

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

8 posted 1999-10-03 06:22 PM

Very good blank verse you have done. Indeed, welcome to Passions.

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

9 posted 1999-10-04 04:44 AM

Thanx for your comment Dream Evil - it is always nice to get +ve feedback. I like this forum!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.