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Open Poetry #3
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Forlorn Lulu
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Forlorn Lulu |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Forlorn Lulu Forlorn for Lorne, tattered and torn, For Lorne had left her blue. Lulu had sworn her love for Lorne, For Lorne's love had seemed true True, too, Lulu before was blue, Due, true, to shrew and scorn. Forworn, Lulu then went cuckoo, Too blew to mourn for Lorne. Woo hoo what do the new Lulu? Forsworn of love for Lorne. Knew to be blew and quite cuckoo, Lulu lies blue, forlorn. |
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| © Copyright 1999 The Unknown Poet - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Huh? You're style reminds me, amazingly enough, of a dear friend of mine over here in the 'stute by the name of Vince.... any relation? Could you tell me please, por favor? I mean, poor forlorn. hehehe Justin T.  |
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Justin Kace Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 82Oz |
Justin Thyme, Lu mourns not Lorne He'll face her wrath and scorn He'll rue the day that he was born And left her there forlorn Revenge on Lorne she has forsworn He'd best be well forewarned Lorne dare not toot his little horn Lu's sent his butt airborne |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
hey, this was very interesting to read, but i quite liked it ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Hey Saxoness, what's that mean it was very interesting to read *BUT* you liked it? Does that mean you usually like stuff that's not interesting? LOL... hehehe... just curious....... ok, here's a rhyme for you: Saxoness read a poem today written on the net. An unknown poet wrote it. Something she couldn't forget. The Justin Twins responded, then Saxoness did say that she thought it was interesting, but but liked it anyway!!!!!! LOL... j/k.... oh, whoops, not jk, i mean, JT hehehe |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
I like the way you had the rhyme built in the way it was. (can't remember what it was called though) it was a little difficult to read though with all the repetetive syllables, but once you get over that it gets fairly easy to understand. I found it funny-serious (funny in the way it was presented and yet the message was serious) otherwise, I thought it was an interesting read. keep it up mr. unknown *wink* |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Thanks, Des, to think I wrote something they actually have a name for is scary in itself, though. the Unknown |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Repetition of a vowel sound within a verse is called "Assonance"..... (Alliteration is repeated consonants)... and rhyme within a line is appropriately called "Internal Rhyme"..  [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 10-02-1999).] |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Uhmmm, Hey Des, did she just call me and "ass"? |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
very amusing UP......I enjoyed the read....... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
Unknown, I knew you were here sneaking around, you have to remember to shut down when your done, or you give yourself away. I have to say though that now I have seen the interesting side of you, that seems to go un-noticed around here. Can you meet me in my office for tea, and discussion time let's say around noon Sunday. |
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Justin Kace Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 82Oz |
Is Nurse Crachet LuLu, do ya think??? |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Hmmm, enticing offer Cratchet but sure as i do the little men in white will show up and -wham! I'm waking up in the rubber room again... Justin Kase, now that you mention it she does seem quite forlorn of late...makes one wonder??? the unknown |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
Unknown, the rubber room has been occupied for days now, and that has me puzzled, cause that's where the twins have been, so how are they posting, and responding here? Did you slip them a laptop? Not to worry we can discuss this over our tea at noon. The white coats have the day off. |
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Mrs.Bigglesworth New Member
since 1999-10-02
Posts 7kent |
I liked it! The people in here are soooo clever and quick, I hope to pick up a few tips.and no I'm not your third grade teacher-I'm 17 and from England! Thanks for your comment too. ------------------ *jess* |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
Unknown Poet, seems this is my only means for contact as it stands now since you are playing the disappearing act. I hope your not in the attic again chasing those rats. I wanted to have a discussion with you on Sunday, but you did not show, I waited there until 4pm. If any of you know where Unknown is please tell him I'm looking for him. |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Ha! Crathcet, you will never catch me! I'm free! I'm free! the unknown |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
never ever under estimate my abilities. I have my spies you know, there hot on your trail as we speak. |
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