Open Poetry #1 |
Storm |
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I sit alone and write my tale of love gone wrong somehow a storm is gathering along the horizon and I can feel it inside me now. The tears I shed are mostly dried and the pain has lessened some I stare out the window at darkening clouds and beg for the storm to come. Take away my anger and shame wash away my tears of sorrow give me something fresh in my life give me hope for a new tomorrow. [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 07-02-99).] |
||
© Copyright 1999 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Drawing a parallel between the storm and your inner feelings is very well thought out. Nicely done. |
||
ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
During the more difficult moments of my life it's always felt like a storm brewing just inside me...thanks for putting it into words so precisely... |
||
azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
Isn't it somehow strange that though we often fear the storm it is what brings the new beginnings.....your poem captured this reality wonderfully..."For when the sun breaks free, I can finally see..." (the line of one of my own on the same subject.) ------------------ Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
||
Craig Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444 |
To catch a fleeting thought and tie it to a storm to convey the power of feelings at that moment was inspirational. (The fact that thunder was actually rolling over my head as I read this work made the impact even more clear ) Feel the rumble hear the roar of thunder at your minds door I read the power in your pain your words will forever reign |
||
JuLiEt Junior Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 44Abbotsford,British Columbia, Canada |
Wonderful poem!!! It moved me so much I felt like crying. Your poems are beautifully written.And I look forward to reading more. ------------------ ~*JuLiEt*~ |
||
yumna Junior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 13alexandria.egypt |
A touching poem,I simply loved it . keep up the good work . |
||
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all for your kind comments. They are much appreciated always. |
||
gypsylace Junior Member
since 1999-06-14
Posts 10Prairieville,LA USA |
Hi! I really loved this poem. Short and to the point, and yet nothing is lacking in depth. My sister who is also a writer told me once "you shouldn't have to explain the poem, it should explain itself". I really could not only understand what you were saying, but could also feel what you were saying. Thankyou for sharing. |
||
Kelly Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 145 |
Perfect! |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I had missed this one...thank goodness Ron brought the archives back! I liked this one a lot...I think 'Deer was on target in his comment... Sunshine ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ |
||
linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Stormy heart... what a great idea. I wish I had thought of it. It must be from Linda M. |
||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this sounds like something I'd write good piece! |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |