»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #1
»
My Ex-wife.......
| Open Poetry #1 |
|
My Ex-wife....... |
|
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
|
Have sympathy, my laddies. I've had a rocky life. She treated me quite terribly- My horrible ex-wife. She wouldn't take the garbage out Or wash a car or two. My shoes were never polished, Not by ex-wife number two! Ex-wife three was cruel to me. You know, that silly jerk Expected me, while making love, To do some of the work! Ex-wife four would do no chore. She lived just like a slob. She said she was too tired because She took a second job. Well, everyone knows I have back pains. I'm lucky to be alive! But that brought out no sympathy From ex-wife number five! What can I say, my laddies? I've made some lousy picks. Perhaps I will have better luck With ex-wife number six! |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Perhaps..... Ex-wife number 2 should meet (almost) ex-hubby number 1, share a 6 pack and move it onto highway 303....whadyathink?  |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
ROTFLMAO..... Hehe... An "ex" is an "ex" is an "ex"... Bear with me, guys - I just have to share this hysterical story with all of my poetic friends here - Today I had the "privilege" of spending the afternoon with my one and only "ex" husband and my daughters, Stacie and Sandie... He had his newest love of his life with him - Mind you, he's been married three times now... and been in love at least twice more.... This "new" flame, attempting to be friendly, looked at me mid afternoon and said quite seriously, "Hello - How do you know Stacie???" My life is never dull, my friends...  [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 06-27-99).] |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Finally, someone with more ex's than me! Well, okay, almost more...  Wonderful job again, my friend! Ron |
||
|
Craig Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444 |
Another one? I thought you were off playing marbles with your friends! By the way great poem drop me a line when (if) you make it to number ten I took yours and Rons advice and added the lines to my rambles |
||
|
Christina Myers Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 159 |
heheh.... great one, Balladeer... being in love with someone who has an ex, I can laugh with utter glee at this one!!!! lol they are very foolish though... I'd put up with you. tee hee -C |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Guess the gentleman in your poem thinks he's a fine catch huh? Oh, well, I for one don't like fish! I'd throw him back! Besides, those ex wives lacked the one thing I do have - a whip! |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Uh, a whip? I think that would be better explained in the Adult Forum (in verse, of course). |
||
|
Augchic711 Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 80O'Fallon, IL, USA |
Balladeer just thought i'd reply and say i'm ROTFLMAO yeah baby there you go again! I hope you get to read my newest post look forward to reading another one of yours!! *******Augchic711******* |
||
|
ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Wife #6 huh, how do you find the time to write...this is a really unique way of tallying those failed relationships...loved it... |
||
|
Genea Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 321USA |
Balladeer, The speaker in ur poem sure has the luck, huh? hehe ~Genea |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
And now, Balladeer, we will have to do one in kind from the better, softer, but kinder persuasion. [In other words, watch out.] It was fun reading. Thanks! Sunshine. |
||
|
Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
Balladeer, Though I only have one ex-wife sir She did the worst of crimes She went and made you marry her Not once but four more times sandman |
||
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Too funny!! Having no ex-wife I only hope this isn't a foreshadowing of things to come. ------------------ Patience is a virtue, but virtue has never been one of my redeeming qualities. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I am an excellent ex-wife! I shall mount a support group for all of Balladeer's ex wives..we shall march through the cities holding our banners aloft singing songs to rally the troups.... (sung to the tune of We Shall Overcome) We are overcome! We are overcome! We are overcome from lack of foreplay! or (sung to the tune of Onward Christian Soldiers) Onward Balladeerites marching off to court we will get our money we, he will support! Why anyone would divorce a man such as Balladeer is beyond me! (by the way, my ex had the bad grace to pass away 2 years ago so I can't say anything bad about him...my luck, he's in Heaven telling God to put a curse on my sex life - - oh, no, that was before we were divorced!) |
||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Balladeer~very, very funny. A light twist on a heavy subject! Good work! Nan~better luck next time, but your story was quite the experience! That had me ROTFLMAO! Poet deVine~ no big loss! [This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 06-28-99).] |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Here's some exalting music for deVine's exceptionally exemplary songs in her expert tribute to Balladeer's exasperating ex's. All ex's should be extinct ....  |
||
|
Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Bravo, Nan!! I second that. (oops, I'm trying to hide my horns...is it working???)  |
||
|
IsabelleSkye Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253 |
oh I am LMAO! I love it! Tho' it seems I can't get an X hubby...he won't go away ..so I don't have a funny poem to share in relation to this one! Maybe next time *wink**adjusting halo* I look forward to more! Luv Izzy |
||
|
elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
this one deserves a lift...ex-wives are truly a gift ( are we not?  )------------------ Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart... [This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-16-99).] |
||
|
Sundance Member
since 1999-07-11
Posts 123 |
Nice rhyming, although I am not married, I understand the lack of support given by people u love! Great poem, again, for the 100th time!!! |
||
|
armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Look me up when you hit seven, I promise no to go around misbehavin'. I must say you seem like quite a catch Maybe even my heavens match. We'll find out one day that's for sure Who knows I may be your cure I leave you now with my good charm Hoping not to alarm For I would like to be the one that leaves your mission done No more ex's for you dear Now that i found you Balladeer hehe *blushing* carman |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Balladeer, you'd be The perfect catch, For Fabulous Moola, In a wrestling match. Since being an 'ex' Is what you want. Ms Moola can make you Into a different font! 'Deer - you are great - no doubt about it. I love your poem. Back to the top it goes. |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Balladeer....very funny indeed....could it be the husband though and not the wives?? Winks ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
||
|
redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
sounds to me like... Balladeer is learning the little things that make life important. like... dancing in the rain and getting the kitchen floor all muddy and.. leaving the dust behind the tv where it belongs.. (grin) and enjoy the mess of life.. (*smile) sorry couldn't help myself.. but yes.. I GOT it.. (grin) |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Why, Carman, you devil, you! Long John... Fabulous Moola is my mom. In her arms I used to nestle She wouldn't harm a hair of mine... I taught her how to wrestle! Hoot.....absolutely. Goes both ways. Red....you're something else! |
||
|
redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
well when you find out what that something else is.. would you please let me know?? Cause then we'll BOTH know.. hahahah http://www.home.talkcity.com/BasinSt/redwriter1/html |
||
|
Delores Hall Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342USA |
Cute real cute.Have you really been married that many times? |
||
|
Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Okay Balladeer...just g'head and hog all the glory....you prick!...Yea, now you're humorous too?.....I guess ya look like that De'Caprio whatever kid also don't ya?....Yea, I'm not jealous....no, not me.....I'll bet you have a damn Aston Martin and a big house too don't ya?......Your next ex-wife's who?......Cindy Crawford?....figures.....!.......(Loved the poem too damnit!) LOL |
||
|
Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Loved it!! You write great stuff and keep LJA on his toes! |
||
|
Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Sir Balladeer, This is a gem. How does one man survive issuing alimony times six? Then the question of children pops in mind, and that could mean child support payments. Oh by gosh, my golly, I'd say the ex's have control. |
||
|
aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
:: Laughs :: Is there another volume to this one? Funny, very funny. A |
||
|
Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
||
|
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I remember reading this years ago. That summer I tried to find it using the search function, but for some reason it didn't show up so Balladeer was kind enough to send me a copy through email. Being me, I decided to play a joke on my mom and tell her someone had sent me an email about his ex wife. She flipped (to be fair, I was still in high school at the time!). She wasn't much happier when I told her it was just a funny poem. Anyway, I still think this is funny! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
