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In To the Darkness
| Open Poetry #1 |
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In To the Darkness |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
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Readers Note: The poet knows this is a very very long poem. He was going through some tough times and the droning on of this poem helped the said poet to get over it and of course said poet gets over it a lil more every time he gets to share it with the reader. thanky Judgement is coming soon all will face it Darkness is here so why not embrace it The pain is one thing I will never know In the darkness I'm doomed to go What does it matter if I cannot feel For in this darkness nothing real On the weak corrupted soul Excessive darkness takes its toll A fires last embers so hard to defend Life is fragile yet is it easy to end Maybe it's better for me anyway I will long for darkness not the day Turning the trip of my insanity It makes its stops but not for me If darkness dosent dig my grave My ending days where madmen rave Will i feel better not having a name Would I feel better if nothingness came While I still live they'll cut me apart And there the darkness running my heart Paranoia bores deep into my soul Darkness enters and fills in the whole But if the pain can be swept away I will long for darkness not the day My mind has broken through the blinding mist I cant even know if I still exist An apparition abruptly appears But I can't see through the bittersweet tears Her wild caged stare makes me realize The mirror reflection caught in her eyes I knew her not but I can feel her love I see in her face what I'm thinking of The woman drifts on but was she there Too much fantasy can be a nightmare I hear a voice say, "I always loved you" Do memories prove experiences true How do I know I'm not losing my mind Is the answer possible to find Confusion forces madness upon men Can I go back if I've never been I've lost hold of my last waning candle And now is gone but for waxed covered handle It looks as if my darkness surrounds me But lo this time the pain has found me There's a trail that leads into the night I knew long ago there'd be no bright light A twisted tree stands in paradise grown My eyes tell me what's not to be known Those barren branches seem productive Simple solutions so seductive A lonely testament to what goes wrong When a dying spirit stands too long I question the times I have forgotten And like the trees fruit inside so rotten Then all is clear the answers revealed What I have held close my shattering shield Full of poison I know I must die So much easier to choose the lie There before me a silhouetted shade Through depths of darkness I see it wade Never i know has such beauty flowed With an air of grace down a damned filled road I find that I am forced to follow In the darkness the path is swallowed But then again I can see the shade And no longer will I be afraid So many places i am led through Familiar faces that I once knew Their mouths gape open and spill one word But in the darkness their voices unheard My heart turns cold I cannot move I demand intentions quickly proved The supernatural need not persuade Into the darkness I follow the shade For a score not another around Silence can be such an unsettling sound Bloody wars fought I never will fight So many wrongs never able to right Dirty child I can see it crying I must pass on as my soul is dying Vision of evil that man has made I would be quite right if not for the shade Seasons change but it is always cold Time must pass I am growing this old Like a lost black sheep behind the shade I knew one day even it would fade In despair the end I grab for its hand My paws are useless but for digging in sand At once I'm human death and its charms I welcome my friend with folded arms End If you got this far thank you [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 06-24-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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owen Junior Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 19Toledo, WA USA |
This is one of the most exceptional works I've seen. This is one I could read a hundred times and never grow tired of. Thanks a lot for shareing it with us. I'm sure it'll make an emotional impact on anyone that reads it. Thanks. Owen |
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Christina Myers Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 159 |
what impresses me the most is that you sustained the rhyme and never lost the power or momenteum of the piece. did it go through a lot of re-writes? or did it just spring out that way? amazing. -C |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Hi Walt. I think you have some very powerful lines here and the makings of a work of poetry which will last. Some of these lines are especially effective... such as "A twisted tree stands in paradise grown" and "Into the darkness I follow the shade" and "Silence can be such an unsettling sound" and "Seasons change but it is always cold". I think this Forum is supposed to encourage support from others and maybe a bit of critique, so I hope my comments here are well taken.... IMHO, I *would* shorten this piece to get the most out of it. Sometimes, less is more.... I write a lot of very long poems myself, so I know how hard it is to edit them but when I take the time to do it, it *always* helps. Keep writing and posting! Oh, and smile  . Life *can* be fun. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Thank you for the response on my poem. I never had any love for it and yes I know tis bit long. I've tried shortening it and I'll try even harder now that I know someone likes it. Christina actually this poem was a lotta lil poems and they were so closely knit I made em one and unfortunately for my rhyming line after line is not so much a struggle for me as coming up with good rarely rhymed words. Thank you so much for the input!! [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 06-24-99).] |
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Tom Thumb New Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 1fort worth Tx |
this is a wonderful poem!!!! He has a talent and should persue it! He is an exelent writer. [This message has been edited by Tom Thumb (edited 07-01-99).] |
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Dragon Member
since 1999-07-14
Posts 138Highmount,NY ,USA |
This is the most beautiful I have ever read.More Please!!!! |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Walt, this is becoming a habit, you ROCKED again. ------------------ Being paranoid is the biggest reason I'm still around to practice my paranoia. DreamEvil© |
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Gentle Soul Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273Vinton,Ohio USA |
I love it walt! it may be long.. but it has depth.. and I like it! and I write long things too! I just wish I could get mine to rhyme! once again.. great poem! ------------------ Gënt£ë¤§°û£ |
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