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When asked, the rhythm?
| Open Poetry #1 |
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When asked, the rhythm? |
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
When Asked, The Rhythm? When asked By a friend on the Internet How, I’d become so popular world wide, I replied; I have the ability and aptitude To converse with those who have an inclination To articulation, And still retain, The ability to explain, Without making them appear less inferior. To this my friend perplexed, I explained what came next By elucidating how I inscribe my fables bold, And so, a story I Unfold. In simple phrase Not heterogeneous. A man Eager to impress the love in his life Took to writing a poem, in hope, He wrote: I THINK OF YOU I think of you I always will, Wont you come to bed with me For my heart and loins you thrill, tonight. Obviously poor But written in a way as to open a door For moments later wondrous glee, A talented reply her repartee: SIMPLE WORDS Simple words are not enough? Gifted expressions panache and rhythm Before I relinquish to you my bosom But get it right I’m yours tonight And what you lack I’ll teach in person. Not of finesse how to entrap Roget’s Thesaurus cunning and brash, Deep in thought of devilish aptitude He penned an expression Of divine fortitude. DO ANGELS DREAM Do angels dream in heavens cradle Tranquil slumber dream’s of you, For man’s lust and passions praying Trade their wings and halo’s too. Do angels dream of mortal danger Will they stand and fight for you, Would they love you after pleasure Devote their lives to live as two. I’ll swim a hundred oceans stormy To cross a million deserts bare, To tell you that I love you deeply To show you that I care. Hear the voice of angels calling See them dance in candle light, I can’t compare my love to angels But I’ll fight a mortal right For your love a thousand battles I’ll fight them all for love tonight, and tomorrow. The question The rhythm? Many ponder on the moral adaptation Such mixture of poems and cadence poor, But mock not, she bowed to my skill For behind closed door The Rhythm, she teaches me still. ( I need help on this one ) U K Hero [This message has been edited by U K Hero (edited 08-29-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Ulysses Hero - All Rights Reserved | |||
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
I'd swim naked across oceans for a love like that... HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I don't know where you need help. This is a wonderful piece of writing in my humblest of opinions. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is wonderful. I've read your work here and have some questions if you don't mind. Why the user name of U K Hero? In this poem there a reference to your work (if we take this poem as a reflection of your life) as being widely read. Do you have a web site? Thank you for your time.  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Do continue to grace our forums with more of your heroic words, UK...  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
U K, your OK with me. Nice job. |
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
To all; thanks for your comments, This is my second (Northern Queen, posted 29th Aug, the first) I’m new here, as you can no doubt surmise. I’m not happy with the punctuation of the poem (my weakest area) advice here would be helpful. To: Poet deVine, U K Hero? It’s a long story (I’m English you know) And no I don’t have a web site perhaps one day. |
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TheCandyMan_1 Junior Member
since 1999-08-28
Posts 38NY |
I've read many a famous poets works.. and still do not know if puncuation makes all that much difference. Your poem was wonderful and my opinion..thou not much...is that you should leave it be. It is wonderful. ------------------ JA.Malone |
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