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Open Poetry #1
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Taken Too Soon
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Taken Too Soon |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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At seventeen, her life was new and just beginning, A girlish flower blossoming into a succulent rose. Her raging dreams were starting to take wing, And she lived each day like it was part of a masterful prose. The mistakes of her childhood had melted away, Replaced by a woman of great wits and word. Her world grew more fulfilling day by day, Learning great lessons and discovering the truths of which she'd heard. When graduation day came, she was a grace at the head of the class, And when college rolled around, she excelled so brilliantly. So when she entered the real world, confident and filled with sass, She found that she could indeed be whatever she chose to be. At twenty six a handsome man swept her off her feet, And two years later her baby girl entered the world. As her family grew to four, her career never missed a beat, Until on her thirtieth birthday, all became unfurled. She could scarce believe it when the doctor called And told her the earth shattering news. For who would belive that her sickness that started last fall Could be cancer, surely this must be a horrific ruse. Her heart sunk to the cold, tiled floor, And she wept for all she would miss. The doctor said she had maybe six months, definitely not more, Before an early death will place it's cruel kiss. She wept again as she was forced to give up a career she adored, But she remained so brave, even through the worst. In her final weeks, she devoted herself to the lord, And continued to be strong, though at times she thought she'd burst. Although she'd never done anything in her life that was truly grand, Her death was sadly mourned by her shocked family and friends. They so kindly spoke of all the good things she had done on this mortal land, They said she was taken all too soon, and the heart's of those she touched may never mend. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* |
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| © Copyright 1999 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
You've captured an important (though frustrating) Truth in this lovely poem. Life is many things, but not always just. And still, in spite of the injustice (and though we do nothing "grand"), we can and often do make a real difference... Great job! Ron |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Alwye, This was way to good to be buried so deep, with so few responses. Great job writing about such a sad event. |
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Majere Junior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 32 |
I agree with Lost Dreamer, this deserves to be read again, and again. ------------------ Such is the way to immortality ;) |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I thought you did a beautiful job, and with such a sad subject. Life just don't seem fair sometimes... I am surprised it hasn't had more comments than this!  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, it sure got by me the first time. Thanks for bringing it back. Poetic storytelling...there's nothing better and you do it very well, alwye. |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
I missed it too Alwye. It's easy to do here on the interstate of poetry. But you poem is beautiful and touching and deserves to be seen again. sandman |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Thank you all very much!!  ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Very sad and very moving.I agree this should be read again. |
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IsabelleSkye Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253 |
Wow! this was really a heartbreaker. :/ I.Skye |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
wonderful job...touched my soul...excuse me while I regain my composure.... |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Thank you all for your kind words. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* I see the world through the loving eyes of my heart, and suffer the pain of unfulfilled visions. -- Daniel L. Miller |
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Kelly Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 145 |
Thanks Alwye. It was a little hard for me to read. My mom died of cancer at a young age. She only lived 2 months after finding out she had cancer. This one really hit home for me. Thanks again. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Beautifully said... HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I liked it a lot, Alwye, the woman in your poem is not the only one that was "taken too soon"... ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
All to many are taken too soon from us...thank you all for your kindess. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* I see the world through the loving eyes of my heart, and suffer the pain of unfulfilled visions. -- Daniel L. Miller |
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