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Heavens Touch
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Heavens Touch |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
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Born from a silver streak of flame She tore a trail through my soul Burning passion I cant control Her beauty described in mere words A sweeter song than morning birds Who ever hope and ever try To please her as she passes by When she dips and when she bends Her graceful body never ends And when I look into her eyes I see a fire that never dies Watching her dance toward the ground The greatest entrance makes no sound And then forever my life has worth I've seen where heaven touched the earth [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 08-26-99).] [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 08-26-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
This has a dreamy feeling to it. Again, you have succeeded in structure, meter, and rhyme. The words dance. Very, very nice. |
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Krystal Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140Shelton,WA USA |
Beautiful, I loved it! ------------------ Shannon D. Montgomery ("Krystal") |
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Moonlight Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 105Auburn, Alabama USA |
I loved it! Especially the "Born in a silver streak of flame" line. Its clever and it flows really well. I agree with doreen peri about your structure, meter & rhyme.  ~m o o n l i g h t~ ------------------ www.auburn.edu/~fergum1 ~*Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars*~ |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Thank you for sharing this one. Very enjoyable. Andrew |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very nice extended metaphor, wayoutwalt... Keep 'em coming...  |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thank you all so much can anyone tell me what the subject of the poem is..i've had many guesses |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I'm going to hazard a guess and say "sunshine?" |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
I don't know what you were aiming for walt but i saw an angel... |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
tis all of those but when i wrote it i was lookin at a rainbow |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
There it is... I see it!!  |
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Augchic711 Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 80O'Fallon, IL, USA |
Thanks again Walt, This poem is beautiful it paints a beautiful and peaceful picture in my mind. I thank you for sharing this wonderful poem with me! And I hope that you will share many many more! *******Augchic711******* |
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Newguy Junior Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 36Moultrie, GA, USA |
Will you stop with the awesome lierature? You write wonderful poems; and this is another fine example. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Heaven's touch is the perfect name for this poem. and you used a heavenly touch to create it. Very nice, Walt. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Walt, this is one heck of a gem you uncovered for me. Bravo!! ------------------ Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings? DreamEvil© |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Beautiful Walt, very beautiful. I, like Moonlight, enjoyed the line-"Born in a silver streak of flame". Exellent work. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* I see the world through the loving eyes of my heart, and suffer the pain of unfulfilled visions. -- Daniel L. Miller |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I must of missed this the first time around. Now that I see what it is all about, it is quite beautiful. Great Job! |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
This poem is the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow! It is a real gem!------------------ The only man worth your tears will never make you cry... |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
Liked it a lot Walt... |
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
Fantastic Walt!!  ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Walt, I am sooooo glad this made it back to the top. This poem truly touched me in a way not many do. Have a tear in my eye as I'm writing this. Thank you. Michael |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Now this is "Beauty"!!!! Thanks for sharing Walt |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Applauds...extreamly loudly wonderful!!!!! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Lovely! |
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cruz Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282Dallas,Texas USA |
What's up??? I originally thought this was the sun ultimately setting and meeting the ground. Turns out, it's a rainbow (I looked at responses) What is "Born from a silver streak?" Just curious!! I'm realizing how powerful the last 2 lines are...the last stanza for that matter. Very serene. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
hey cruz how is it the silver sreak is a rainy cloud |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
wow walt...wow... it's seems waltese hadn't emerged yet, judging from your replies...  K |
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