Open Poetry #1 |
The Messenger |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
"My Lord", the Queen said, "by your leave I've written down a rhyme And would be proud for you to comment on, should you have time. I've woven quite a tapestry of images that sing A message that I feel would be befitting for a king." "A rhyme?", the King said. "Lady, there is nothing I hate worse Than silly little couplets forced together into verse! Pure prose alone is strong enough to make a message clear And not this childish ditty that you dare to offer here." Just then the castle doors sprung wide and, entering from the night, A young man rushed, quite out of breath with features full of fright. "My King!", he cried. "The armies of our foes are on the march! They're pillaging the villages with saber, lance and torch." "Our legions need men and supplies. Please do not hesitate Or, by this time tomorrow, they'll be at the castle gate!" The King reacted quickly. Reinforcements were dispatched And, by the eve, the tide had turned...the danger met and matched. That evening in the royal bed, the Queen quite sweetly, said "That boy who warned us of the fight-was his hair blond...or red?" "What's this?", replied the King. "What nonsense do I hear from you?" "That boy", she said, "who came today. Were his eyes brown...or blue?" "Was his body big and strong...or was it rather small? Were his features pale or sunburned? Did you find him short or tall? Did you spy rings on his fingers or a chain around his neck? When he moved, did he bend down a bit or did he stand erect?" "My Queen, you've truly gone insane to ask such foolish things. I care not if he had ORANGE eyes...or if he wore TEN rings! I care not how he walked...care not what color horse he mounted! The boy held no signifigance - the message was what counted!" "My lord", the Queen said, "by your leave, I've written down a rhyme And would be proud for you to comment on, should you have time......" The King smiled. In his eye, a humorous twinkle could be seen. He said, "I am a lucky man to have such a wonderous Queen." |
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© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Indeed he is, Balladeer...:-)) HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. [This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 08-13-99).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
As usual I enjoyed the poem and the story kept me going till the end. And that was quite an end. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Such an intricately woven extended metaphor, my friend..... He certainly is a lucky King to have such a sagacious Queen by his side.... We all need little reminders sometime - of those basic truths in life... ------------------ Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done: For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits, Than I am sure I have in my whole five. ~ ²1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75 |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
A very clever poem written by a clever man. To those argumentative rhymists and free-versers, remember the lesson here... quote: No more than the poem is the boy, and no more than the meaning is the message. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you all. Yes, we do, Nan. Artur....awesome response..thank you. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
A wondrous poem as befitting a Balladeer! Excellent sir! |
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Delores Hall Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342USA |
If we could all be as good as you. |
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moonmoon Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 277TX , USA |
Great work Sir..You inspire me.. ------------------ "No one was ever ruined from without; The final ruin comes from within." Amelia E. Barr |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
How very clever! I enjoy your work so... You always seem to send a message in your poetry...that's masterful, indeed. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Your message rings loud and clear, and should be heard by all! Well done, as always! ------------------ "Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain* |
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Cinderella Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152Arizona |
You are my idol "balladeer" the way you make words so glorious to read! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Your lesson was well-taught, Sir Balladeer. ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
'Deer You know - you drive me crazy at times. This was a terrific poetic metaphor. Where DO you get these great ideas? I sit staring out the window as if, in the distance, an idea will come and awaken in me some small amount of inspiration. And, here you are, seemingly whipping out one great idea after another as if it was something everybody does. It isn't - be assured - not everybody does it, because I am the exception to the rule. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you all, good friends. Long John, no matter how long it takes you to whip one out, it is always well worth the wait! Good to hear from you. |
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Craig Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444 |
If I’d have written this I’d be ecstatic ( and probably dreaming ), reading it is no less enjoyable. Thank you for sharing this. |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
Outstanding Balladeer! Lots of us can rhyme but few can weave a story like that. sandman |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
well done, as always, Balladeer *curtsies* |
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Terri Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 82Turtle Creek, PA |
A true master of your art And oh, the glorious pictures You have painted in my heart While you're at it, would you mind giving my Muse a swift kick? I think she doth lay dreaming. [This message has been edited by Terri (edited 08-16-99).] |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
I love this. A |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Another grand find. You are missed around here. "late" |
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