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Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 1999-08-13 10:44 PM


"My Lord", the Queen said, "by your leave I've written down a rhyme
And would be proud for you to comment on, should you have time.
I've woven quite a tapestry of images that sing
A message that I feel would be befitting for a king."

"A rhyme?", the King said. "Lady, there is nothing I hate worse
Than silly little couplets forced together into verse!
Pure prose alone is strong enough to make a message clear
And not this childish ditty that you dare to offer here."

Just then the castle doors sprung wide and, entering from the night,
A young man rushed, quite out of breath with features full of fright.
"My King!", he cried. "The armies of our foes are on the march!
They're pillaging the villages with saber, lance and torch."

"Our legions need men and supplies. Please do not hesitate
Or, by this time tomorrow, they'll be at the castle gate!"
The King reacted quickly. Reinforcements were dispatched
And, by the eve, the tide had turned...the danger met and matched.

That evening in the royal bed, the Queen quite sweetly, said
"That boy who warned us of the fight-was his hair blond...or red?"
"What's this?", replied the King. "What nonsense do I hear from you?"
"That boy", she said, "who came today. Were his eyes brown...or blue?"

"Was his body big and strong...or was it rather small?
Were his features pale or sunburned? Did you find him short or tall?
Did you spy rings on his fingers or a chain around his neck?
When he moved, did he bend down a bit or did he stand erect?"

"My Queen, you've truly gone insane to ask such foolish things.
I care not if he had ORANGE eyes...or if he wore TEN rings!
I care not how he walked...care not what color horse he mounted!
The boy held no signifigance - the message was what counted!"

"My lord", the Queen said, "by your leave, I've written down a rhyme
And would be proud for you to comment on, should you have time......"
The King smiled. In his eye, a humorous twinkle could be seen.
He said, "I am a lucky man to have such a wonderous Queen."





© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
1 posted 1999-08-13 10:49 PM


Indeed he is, Balladeer...:-))

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.



[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 08-13-99).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 1999-08-13 10:53 PM


As usual I enjoyed the poem and the story kept me going till the end. And that was quite an end.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 1999-08-13 11:11 PM


Such an intricately woven extended metaphor, my friend..... He certainly is a lucky King to have such a sagacious Queen by his side.... We all need little reminders sometime - of those basic truths in life...

------------------
Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done:
For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits,
Than I am sure I have in my whole five.
~ ²1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75



Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444
USA
4 posted 1999-08-13 11:28 PM


A very clever poem written by a clever man. To those argumentative rhymists and free-versers, remember the lesson here...

quote:
the message was what counted!


No more than the poem is the boy, and no more than the meaning is the message.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 1999-08-14 12:04 PM


Thank you all.

Yes, we do, Nan.

Artur....awesome response..thank you.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 1999-08-14 12:11 PM


A wondrous poem as befitting a Balladeer! Excellent sir!

Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA
7 posted 1999-08-14 12:14 PM


If we could all be as good as you.
moonmoon
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 277
TX , USA
8 posted 1999-08-14 12:19 PM




Great work Sir..You inspire me..

------------------
"No one was ever ruined from without;
The final ruin comes from within." Amelia E. Barr



Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
9 posted 1999-08-14 12:34 PM


How very clever! I enjoy your work so...
You always seem to send a message in your poetry...that's masterful, indeed.

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
10 posted 1999-08-14 01:26 AM


Your message rings loud and clear, and should be heard by all! Well done, as always!

------------------
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain*

Cinderella
Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152
Arizona
11 posted 1999-08-14 04:52 AM


You are my idol "balladeer" the way you make words so glorious to read!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 1999-08-14 08:03 AM


Your lesson was well-taught, Sir Balladeer.

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
13 posted 1999-08-14 10:32 AM


'Deer

You know - you drive me crazy at times. This was a terrific poetic metaphor. Where DO you get these great ideas? I sit staring out the window as if, in the distance, an idea will come and awaken in me some small amount of inspiration. And, here you are, seemingly whipping out one great idea after another as if it was something everybody does. It isn't - be assured - not everybody does it, because I am the exception to the rule.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
14 posted 1999-08-14 04:33 PM


Thank you all, good friends.

Long John, no matter how long it takes you to whip one out, it is always well worth the wait! Good to hear from you.

Craig
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444

15 posted 1999-08-14 04:42 PM



If I’d have written this I’d be ecstatic ( and probably dreaming ), reading it is no less enjoyable.
Thank you for sharing this.

Fred Hobbs
Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US
16 posted 1999-08-14 07:54 PM


Outstanding Balladeer! Lots of us can rhyme but few can weave a story like that.

sandman

elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
17 posted 1999-08-15 02:22 AM


well done, as always, Balladeer *curtsies*
Terri
Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 82
Turtle Creek, PA
18 posted 1999-08-15 02:40 AM


Your words are like bright colors
A true master of your art
And oh, the glorious pictures
You have painted in my heart


While you're at it, would you mind giving my Muse a swift kick? I think she doth lay dreaming.


[This message has been edited by Terri (edited 08-16-99).]

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
19 posted 2007-06-10 07:31 PM


I love this.
A

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
20 posted 2007-11-10 09:48 PM


enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
21 posted 2008-07-30 05:12 AM


Another grand find. You are missed around here. "late"
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