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Saturated
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Saturated |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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Tears rushing down my face Can't erase The scorch of your displeasure. In an instant, all is lost - Such great cost. Everything I treasure Vanishes. And so it seems I just dreamed I meant something to you. Might have been's a sad refrain And I rain Tears which have no value. |
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| © Copyright 1999 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Okay....Lessee?....It's over my knee....severe rebuking.....scolding...or give ya another chance to get cheerie again....what's it gonna be?......Nice but sad....let me find my paddle! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Very sad indeed. However, I liked the way it was presented, with the breaks all in the right place yet still connected. Very nice form, but again a very sad statement. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
But... but... but... Toe!!! You KNOW I don't write cheerie but once a decade or so! LOL. So I guess I'd better choose my punishment, hunh? *G* Decisions, decisions. *G* Can I pick 2? LOL. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
The harsh words really make your poem stand out. Well done, Suthern. ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Suthern, the poem to me read like one large tear drop. Nicely done. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Suthern...with all your thoughts, Toe's and mine, being laid bare...shares in Kleenex have risen on the FTSE by 150%... For each tear you cry a sparkle reaches your eyes! Big HUSG my friend ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. [This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 08-12-99).] |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Loved the ending....thanks for the read. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
All tears have value dear, though they make your makeup smear. Well done, though distressingly sad! At the one who spurned you, oh I'm mad! ------------------ Where did I go wrong, I never needed this before, I need a woman, to help me feel. -Live- |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Suthern, don't feel that way. I'm not displeased with ya. Oh, I know you always take Toe's side against me and ridicule me, attack me and laugh at me but I know it's only because you have been under his evil influence for too long. So be happy. Ah loves ya, man! (now where's that Bud Light?) |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Sorry, 'Deer.... don't drink LIGHT beer! LOL. Thank you all for your kind comments... RG: I'd forgotten. *G* I guess my tears do have value to Kleenex stockholders! LOL. Toe: I'm waiting!!!! *G* |
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