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Its time everybody knew the WHOLE truth
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Its time everybody knew the WHOLE truth |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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There has been much ado over the tales of fiendish deeds, Perpetuated on our ‘Deer while he sailed the seven seas. But you can rest assured my friends that I have never mocked The flashy spandex tights he wears beneath his schoolgirl frocks. And its not me who criticizes his outlandishly styled hair, (Though I must admit his toupee needs some spirit gum up there.) And, I’ve ALWAYS been respectful of the volume of his wit, (Although, for some strange reason the ‘half’ part seems to fit). No. I’ve felt that he’s truly a kindred spirit of the seas, For there is honor amongst us pirates, like that amongst the thieves. I’ve seen the way he trims his sails and brings his ship about, When that wily Toerag tries to shoot ‘Deer’s headlights out. I’ve also witnessed the romantic side of this man called Balladeer, Of how he scores with all the ‘chicks’ in the diner he sails near. And its never ceased to amaze me how clever he is with lines, And how he brings in accomplices when he falls on harder times. I’ve never been surprised at the volleys that he’ll exchange, When Toerag tries to board him (now there’s a man deranged!). The part that takes me aback is how both of them have brought This loveable old sailor into the skirmishes they have fought. Now, Toerag, I must admit, has often been maligned, But by me? A loud ‘NO’ I say. It wasn’t me who signed All those beautiful lines of prose that make the damsels sigh, (Sigh?!! They were that good?) OK! I admit that it was I. But Toerag had it coming because he’s a devil in disguise, And all us angels know, therefore, his wings should be denied. Sure he writes some poetry tender ladies hold to their breasts, (But I wonder if they’d hold them that close if they smelled his breath.) And I’ve got to wonder at the branches of his family tree, For when my friend Darwin looked, there wasn’t much to see. There was one really long long branch that represented him, Oh! Wait, that was the trunk. ‘Deer’s right! There are no limbs. As for Poetwheel (that cad) and the way he’s taken sides, Writing with his gifted pen as he spreads his dirty lies, He ought to be more careful in describing my trousseau, I get most of my fashion sense from his choice of clothes. And the way he eviscerates me so gleefully o’er and o’er, Makes me wonder if he really originates from any shore. Perhaps he is a great white shark wearing poet’s garb, Or maybe a Man O’ War, with about ten thousand barbs. It doesn’t really matter because everybody else can see, That I am the most WONDERFUL sailor of the seven seas. And while these vicious poets stand toe to rag each day, I’ll peacefully stand to one side and steal the women’s hearts away. For every woman in here can tell what a gentleman am I For I always respect the ladies as I look them in the eye. I never steal secretive glimpses down their low-cut dress, (Although I might peek just a bit. OK! I gawk I confess). And in the past when ladies have gone out to dine with me, I’ve held their door, their chair, their coat, and all of it for free. I’ve never expected even a kiss in payment for their meal. OK! I admit it! I may have tried to cop a feel. And when they have offered me a hasty good night peck, I never tried to extend the night by asking them to neck. Oh sure! You’ve been talking to the dozen (maybe two), Women who had to use their mace to say our date was through. And so, dear ladies of the Forum, I’m sure that you’ll agree, Those nasty boys Toerag, Balladeer and Poetwheel, Have really gone overboard in vilifying this poor old man, Who writes as Long John Silver, the angel of sea and land. Now - aren’t you meanies ashamed of picking on me??? |
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| © Copyright 1999 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
Touche! Point and thrust, match met! ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Hey....nice poem there Mother Teresea...Um, er, LongJohn.....and so believable too! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Toerag Thank you, thank you. Your endorsement of my saintly attributes lends much needed credibility to my tarnished image. I just hope that rascally 'Deer and his cohorts of poison-penmanship also recant their fiendish besmirking of a reputation that has been polished - indeed, my repute used to be so highly sought that I often lended it to places of ill repute, just so they could get well again. |
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Sue Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 383France |
I'm sure you are all much-maligned, the only trouble is that you are all such unmitigated liars, to boot! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Bravo to all of you curs. ------------------ © KRJ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
absolutely brilliant retaliation...BRAVO...  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This place is outa control.... |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Yikes! It double posted! [This message has been edited by Lorelei54 (edited 08-11-99).] |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
He thinks he's such a saint This sailor man of mine. He can't resist a single feud Me thinks he has too much time: Thats why they've sent him to NEBRASKA For a day or two. [This message has been edited by Lorelei54 (edited 08-11-99).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Lor: Thanks... we need the break! LOL. Too bad you didn't send him sooner! *G* |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
A fine shot over the bow, Long John. Most enjoyable! Sail On! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Thank you one and all. I've been way too busy - you'd think they would pay me for doing all this work I'm doing... what's that? They DO pay me? Oh, yeah, I forgot. |
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Carolina Girl Member
since 1999-08-14
Posts 63 |
Great Poem, Long John! Now, someone email me with the short cuts for this site!! Either I'm missing how to navigate through, or all of you have picked up speed!!! I was going to post my first poem on here...but I need to get my life preserver before I jump in!! |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
:: Laughs :; Oh the innocence(cents) in the pages of the past! |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
giggle I enjoyed this poem ARCTIC WIND |
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