»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #1
»
Bamboo Days
| Open Poetry #1 |
|
Bamboo Days |
|
|
Robin Junior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 48Cardiff, Wales, UK |
I'm new here, be kind to me. (But tear my lines apart if you will) Bamboo Days Robin Laffan 02/06/99 Languid Sunday in a bamboo-blind room Where we lay for the day with two bottles of wine, Engrossed in the week laid out to be read And Miles Davis added his brass-blessed notes To the feel of your skin. I trace each curve with my eyes, My fingers, my tongue And you stretch out with a sigh in the crackling pages Of gathering wars and economic gloom. The sun through the blind caresses your skin With tiger lines that sway as you move A diaphanous sheet on silk smooth flesh As you turn to face me once more Eyes closed, lips set to whisper. We kiss, a taste that lasts for the day Of dry white grape on a salt bed of sweat And the warmth of your arms Banishes the sun’s rays Miles, restarts his song. |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Robin - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Robin I don't know how this slipped by everybody the first time. The similes are great, the images sprang to life. I can almost feel the heat in the room and see the dust motes in the sun's rays through the bamboo blind. As for the silky smooth skin (gulp).... The way you finished it with that single isolated line about Miles Davis - that was perfect. It made me play out the whole scene again without rereading a single word. Nice job. Back to the top it goes. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||