lost childhood memories.....to my father

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #1

lost childhood memories.....to my father

amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

0 posted 1999-08-02 06:28 PM

im looking up to someone,
you have never been,
to many years ive spent,
being misguided,
by myself.

im remembering someone,
you never took the time to be,
a husband, a companion,
a father to me.

im challenging myself,
in wondering why i miss you so,
you were pictures, and phone calls,
but the daddy i didnt know.

im telling myself,
you really cared enough,
but the memories i have,
are not of your love.

there of simple goodbyes,
faces i dont remember,
wondering who you were,
missing my mother.

pretending i knew you,
and why you werent there,
makes no sense now,
because you didnt care.

where i was, or who i became,
i was your daughter,
because i carried your name.

a funeral of tears,
that showed regret,
so many fears,
that i hadnt known yet.

wishing i could have been,
as important as the drugs,
that stole your life,
and all my fathers love.

ive learned to forgive you,
sitting by your grave,
i told you i love you,
and i miss you today.

its been hard to wonder,
who you might have been,
if you had took the time,
to love me then.

would the tears ive cried,
be from missing the father i need,
or would i still simply cry,
over my lost childhood memories?

im sorry i didnt know you,
who you wanted me to be,
important enough,
to make you part of my dreams.

death makes you realize,
that the love you never had,
could some day hurt you worse,
than anything ever has.

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

1 posted 1999-08-02 06:44 PM

amber, though my father is still alive (barely), i can relate to wishing for better childhood memories

------------------
If I had my mouth I would bite.
If I had my liberty I would do my liking.
In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~Shakespeare~

amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

2 posted 1999-08-02 06:51 PM

it seems strange to me after people die, we seem to inquire and want to ask them things the most. my best wishes to your father, and you, thank you for commenting.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.