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Augchic711
Member

since 1999-06-17

Posts 80
O'Fallon, IL, USA

0 posted 1999-06-17 03:29 PM

I ask you that question,
hoping to receive no lies,
but your voice was truth enough.
You told me you cared
and not to worry,
things would be alright.

But our relationship kept growing,
and your voice did the same.
Each time I asked that question,
all I heard was that same voice.

It seemed eager for something
probably not the same as me
but I listened to those first words,
And again you said, "Don't worry,
everything will be alright."

But time passed, things happened,
and I proved you wrong
that your voice was truth enough.

You were full of deceit,
I was full of despair.
Your voice stopped saying "Don't worry."
And the last time I brought up
that question, hoping to receive
no lies, I found yet again
Your voice was truth enough.

Time has passed, and wounds have healed,
and now I know from my experience
Don't worry
Everything will be alright.
*******augchic711*******

Fred Hobbs
Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US

1 posted 1999-06-17 08:22 PM

Another excellent job. You indeed have talent.

Augchic711
Member

since 1999-06-17

Posts 80
O'Fallon, IL, USA

2 posted 1999-06-18 02:37 AM

thank you fred your opinion means more to me than anyone could possibly understand-- thank you for your kind words!

*******augchic711*******

jfreak
Member

since 1999-06-17

Posts 306
Yuma, AZ, USA

3 posted 1999-06-18 06:02 AM

good poem Augchic,

I just got one thing I feel I need to say.
I have this thing about rhythm, I feel all poems need it. Not exactly rhyme, just rhythm. Well you start well, but the middle gets a little jerky, then you pick it up again and finish great. I would just watch that if I were you. That is all. It is still a good poem and you DEFINATELY have talent. Keep up the great work.

jfreak

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

4 posted 1999-06-18 01:21 PM

Augchic, you have described it perfectly. I've been there and you hit the nail on the head in every step. That last step is the biggie - realizing that things WILL be all right. You helped me relive an old memory. Thank you for doing it so well.

Genea
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 321
USA

5 posted 1999-06-18 04:40 PM

Augchic-
what a special poem! Thanks!
~Genea

Augchic711
Member

since 1999-06-17

Posts 80
O'Fallon, IL, USA

6 posted 1999-06-25 01:55 AM

Sorry for the delays on replying been busy at work! I appreciate everyones kind words they inspire me to continue writing and thank you for reading my work and sharing all of my experience I look forward to reading each of your poems!

*******Augchic711*******

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

7 posted 1999-06-30 01:38 AM

oh man i like this yes it gots some stuff i had to think about and memories it brought up yuh tiz whut good poetry means to me

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