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Open Poetry #1
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Diary of a Cyber-Stud
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Diary of a Cyber-Stud |
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
Alone in my room, I sit in my chair, I'm wearing Obsession and Mousse in my hair, I never admit I've not one single friend, 'cause I'm the life of the party in this cyber den. In the real world I smell, and can never emote, I cough on my words, I'm too young to vote, I'm chubby and pimply, I'm rude and I'm crass, and the only thing rippled is my pox-ridden ass. I can't talk to women, I don't talk to girls, when I try my large belly does back-flips and whirls, Of sex I know nothing, and may never learn, 'cause pa found my skin-books and "Hustler" did burn. I'm scared of my shadow, and still suck my thumb, it's red and it's swollen, perpetually numb. But with my trusty modem, I can quickly log-on to a world full of ladies who call me "Hot-Don," Old Don's quite a player, a swinger, and a stud, and, unlike me, won't vomit at the first sign of blood. He's smooth with the ladies, his tongue is quite loose He resembles a hybrid of Apollo and Zeus. He's charming and witty, and really rich too, and, unlike me, completed that Grade Number 2. He chats with them coyly while I try if I can, to go about my business and type with one hand. My current liason is with 'HotBabyJane,' A woman who, strangly, remembles "Seinfeld's" Elaine, Oh how it would pain me to suddenly know, that Jane's a fat barber from New Mexico. Our writing is steamy but quickly it ends, "Jane" (real name Maxwell) is gonna to miss "Friends" I'm secretly sad, and mistakenly blurt, "Man you chicks bug me, MY REAL NAME IS BERT!" The night quickly passes, by morning I've found, I've developed a longing for "Spot", my greyhound, I should probably sleep soon, while partially sane, but by midnight I'll be looking for "HotBabyJane." ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow Please Click Here to Visit our Web Site ICQ: 44370408 [This message has been edited by Poetwheel (edited 07-23-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Poetwheel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Its filthy....I like it. I was impressed with the "pox-ridden ass." Sadly, I know people like this. Thank you for sharing. |
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KTrail99 Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 14 |
Sadly I used to be a person like this. Good work. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
tiz might be many who will say poet i know this ole hurt but know this mr wheel i feel for ole bert |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
Quite amusing I must say...I laughed and cried the whole way...Hopefully Bert will find someone someday! blueloon |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
I'm not sure I agree with INclan that's it's "filthy," but it is (again) pushing the envelope. Maybe we should just confine you to the Adult Forum, PW? It's much easier to type there with just one hand... |
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
Ron, I am sorry that the poems have been a little risque lately. I would rather change subject matter than change forums so we will ease of on the inuendo etc.. PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html ICQ: 44370408 |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
told you your "naughty spiel" would soon get you banned, dear Poetwheel  ...if you have time, check out my "chat" rhyme...or perhaps you'd like to meet a friend of mine, her name is Jane, you can find her in the poem "plain"  ...always a riot to read your works, but stay in this forum so we'll get the perks  ------------------ If I had my mouth I would bite. If I had my liberty I would do my liking. In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~ [This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-23-99).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Poor Wheel is posting in the wrong forum.. This is the one with proper decorum. You can always come over and join all us sinners But here it is still two hands for beginners. |
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
These strong reprimands, Have idled my hands, I truly did mean no abuse. I'll _strive_ so that hence, There'll be no more offense, than a poem by good Mother Goose. PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html ICQ: 44370408 |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
LOL, great!! Sadly, I know a few people like this...great job! ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "It's a crazy thing, fate has perfect wings..."-Deanna Carter |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
There you go again.......goose! |
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
Hey Balladeer, You would not believe how hard that made me laugh. I've no witty comment, just genuine guffaws! PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html ICQ: 44370408 [This message has been edited by Poetwheel (edited 07-23-99).] |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
oh....mother |
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IsabelleSkye Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253 |
oh how did I miss this GEM of "Hot Cyber Love" woooohoooo this was a riot! *giggling my way out the door* Izzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy (how'd I do typing one-handed? J/K!!!) *angelic grin* (clank....oops DANG halo keeps fallin off) c-ya! ------------------ "I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than to be crowded on a velvet cushion." .....Henry David Thoreau |
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Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
Actually thinking there are people like this makes me cry...for they should not lie...to be yourself is a wonderful thing...cause only with yourself life will bring...happiness.Great work ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe |
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
Thanks all for the praise but I feel I must point out that this poem was NOT confessional in nature.... My name is NOT Bert!!!!! PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html ICQ: 44370408 |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Dear I'm-Not-Bert, Your poem struck in me a disturbing note, I'm from New Mexico, just like you wrote. My neighbor's ugly, so he can't be blamed, For assuming the identity of HotBabyJane. Now, me, I'm particular about who I woo, While "Jane" ain't so picky, I'm telling you. He brags that he's found hot cyber love, Could it be you who he dreams of??? You seem like a nice guy, and kinda straight, So I thought I'd warn you, I think "Jane" ain't! He's desperately seeking a mail order bride, But he'll take ol' "Hot Don" if he happens by. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 07-27-99).] |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Laugh... Laugh... Laugh... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Am sitting here rolling on the floor laughing my....off, anyway, very funny piece of work. ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
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