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Open Poetry #1

Malisa, My Angel

blueloon
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 161
NY

0 posted 1999-07-16 09:47 AM

Dinner, he forgot.
He dined with another.
Slowly I cried myself
to sleep.

A baby cries,
cries within.
A woman yells,
yells within.
The baby speaks...
the woman takes
from her breast and
slowly she starts to feed.

The roots connect.
I feel it here.
I wonder where
this all began.

Two people start
another.
But that one
will start with two
and together
they'll make
one.

Malisa, she spoke to me..
She touched my face
and painted me gold.
She put dust in my eyes
as she spoke,
"Name the child ,
and love it kind.
He is hers
and you are mine."

I awoke to hear a
cricket scream of
pure delight or
is it pain a
song or
chant?

I look Over yonder as
day breaks.
Someone will come.
Only time will tell as
night continues to pass on
as the baby speaks
I reveal my breast and
slowly start to feed.

[This message has been edited by blueloon (edited 07-16-99).]

lenny
Member

since 1999-07-11

Posts 63
front royal, va. u.s.a.

1 posted 1999-07-16 10:00 AM

He sounds unworthy. Sad...

quote99
Junior Member

since 1999-07-14

Posts 17
US

2 posted 1999-07-16 11:33 AM

I don't feel the meter or hear the rhyme on this one.

blueloon
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 161
NY

3 posted 1999-07-16 04:30 PM

quote99: I'm not sure if I was aiming for a pattern, the words they came from deep within and this is what appeared. I did make a change and welcome the feedback.
Thank you- blueloon

[This message has been edited by blueloon (edited 07-16-99).]

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