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Open Poetry #1

I Little Wait

Nova
New Member

since 1999-07-12

Posts 6

0 posted 1999-07-12 06:58 PM

I little wait you said so dear
So I let you go so far so near

It was my mistake to let you go
Now I sit awake dreaming not of suffering
But of the day you will return

I am sorry to let you go
But in my heart you are near

snuffleupagus
Junior Member

since 1999-07-15

Posts 11

1 posted 1999-07-15 01:28 PM

huh? is there a typo in the title?

blueloon
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 161
NY

2 posted 1999-07-15 01:43 PM

nova-your simplicity of lines has created a lovely poem. A some point we all wish we hadn't let go. Keep up the great work.
blueloon

quote99
Junior Member

since 1999-07-14

Posts 17
US

3 posted 1999-07-15 02:14 PM

Nova, I see you are a student which may explain your poem. Since you are posting in this public forum I assume you want us to honestly critique your work right? This was very confusing. The meter and rhyme were way off here. The first two lines rhyme but have little relation to each other. The rest looks like is should be free verse but the lines seem disjointed. Keep plugging away as that's the only way to learn the craft.

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