Open Poetry #1 |
Eve |
blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
In my room I sit alone. Alone in a rooms that swirls, around and around. Pictures. Thoughts. Sounds. The sounds of silence. A silence that lurks within me disturbs me from my sleep. The silence lays so still urupts into screams. Screams o my past. The hands and lips that robs my body of it's innocence. I fight the tears. The harder I fought, the faster they flowed. Flowed like a river, a river that never ended. I tried to swim that river. But, I only seemed to drown, in the darkness of my screams. Silence. It overcomes me once again. The swirls have setteled. But, the thoughts still lurked in the inky darkness of my soul. A chill came over my quivering body. I began to feel naked. Naked like Eve, only covered by a leaf. Careful not to eat the poisenous fruit. Hungry for love, I reach for the fruit. The fruit of passion; red, round and luscious. He picked a single cherry before I. My innocense lost. Lost within my silence. |
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© Copyright 1999 blueloon - All Rights Reserved | |||
mia Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 118 |
i really dug it. Like you pinched a string in my heart with your words. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
So very sad...you tug at my heartstrings. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "I will sail my vessel 'till the river runs dry, like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky..." Garth Brooks |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
I am sorry Alwye, I do not mean to make you sad...Thank you for your support... blueloon |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Nice - very nice....Loved the line "...inky darkness of my soul..." Made the whole poem great, and definately set the mood....your choice of words - superb. ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I especially like the pace of the poem where each line pulls you to the next and sets a terrific tempo. Nice job. |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
I am flattered by both of your words...To be exact I am blushing....Thank you blueloon |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent form - I like the way this reads. |
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