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Open Poetry #1

Fore'er My Love

Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 1999-07-08 02:44 PM

Within my heart
You do reside
Since day you slept
And mourner's cried.

I hear your voice
On whisp'ring wind
Sweet words of love
That you do send.

I see your face
In heav'ns above
In warmth of sun
I feel your love.

And when rain falls
From out the sky
My face is wet
From tears you cry.

When nighttime comes
In dreams retire
You touch my heart
With thy desire.

Within my heart
You'll e'er remain
No longer feel
The lance of pain.

A precious gift
Was gave by thee
I ne'er shall lose
Your love to me.

[This message has been edited by Tim (edited 07-08-99).]

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

1 posted 1999-07-08 02:55 PM

Very heart-felt emotion here......

Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

2 posted 1999-07-08 05:36 PM

Thank you...

Emmy
Member

since 1999-06-29

Posts 194
KY

3 posted 1999-07-08 05:57 PM

Great portrayal of a mix between love coming from the depth of the soul and infatuation. A beautiful promise in that "within my heart you'll e'er remain"! You gave love rhyme... and did it wonderfully!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

4 posted 1999-07-17 03:20 PM

This is too good to be hidden at the bottom.

Delores Hall
Member

since 1999-07-16

Posts 342
USA

5 posted 1999-07-17 03:24 PM

This is good.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

6 posted 1999-07-17 04:44 PM

...you do reside
...since day you slept
...that you do send
...in warmth of sun
...in dreams retire
... you'll e'er remain
...no longer feel
...was gave by thee
...I ne'er shall lose

You have sacrificed quality for flow. Find a way to have both, as I know you can.

Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

7 posted 1999-07-17 05:35 PM

I apologize for my denseness...
vocabulary... grammar... both? The contractions I can work on... English major I was not...
I really appreciate the comment...

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