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Open Poetry #1

the moment that i died

amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

0 posted 1999-07-05 08:31 PM

i savored a sweetness,
that would sour over time,
searching for a love that was to hard to find,
in your eyes....i died.

i captured a weakness,
by letting you in,
paying with my soul,
embraced by your sin,
it was all.......simple then.

i attracted your shallowness,
with my vulnerable attitude,
you consumed my eagerness,
making me love you,
regretfully........its through.

you were proned to my insecurities,
my foolishness i didnt see,
no longer can i lie,
in you..........i died.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

1 posted 1999-07-05 08:47 PM

Wonderfully powerful with a flow that dances you around in circles and leaves you gasphing for breath. Well, well written!!!

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

2 posted 1999-07-05 10:27 PM

very concise and emotional....well written

amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

3 posted 1999-07-06 08:30 PM

Thank you both very much i appreciate your thoughts, and hope you enjoy my writing. Thanks agian!

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