My Children's Influence (challenge from one voice)

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DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

0 posted 1999-09-12 04:26 AM

My children are the center of my life.
I used to think children were such a chore.
Having kids has eased my death grip on strife.
My own children now I've come to adore.

I used to think children were such a chore.
I forgot what it meant to be a child.
My own children now I've come to adore.
Lord let them not grow up to be as wild.

I forgot what it meant to be a child.
Fading memories of childhood grew dim.
Lord let them not grow up to be as wild.
Let their outlook on life not be as grim.

Fading memories of childhood grew dim.
I remember how life was before rhyme.
Let their outlook on life not be as grim.
For their sake, out of despair I will climb.

I remember how life was before rhyme.
Life had become a whirlpool of sorrow.
For their sake, out of despair I will climb.
Pride in them validates each tomorrow.

Life had become a whirlpool of sorrow.
Having kids has eased my death grip on strife.
Pride in them validates each tomorrow.
My children are the center of my life.

©1999 DreamEvil

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Pain is life, life is short, I will endure.
DreamEvil©

~one voice~
Senior Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 664
Billings, MT USA

1 posted 1999-09-12 04:29 AM

Absolutely wonderful pantoum!!! You (as usual) have met the challenge graciously! Excellent job!

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~onevoice~

"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

2 posted 1999-09-12 04:36 AM

I admire this! I don't think I could do it. To echo one voice - very well done!

caroline
Senior Member

since 1999-08-16

Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm

3 posted 1999-09-12 01:27 PM

Fantastic...I love the topic, and you've met this challenge with your usual skill.

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The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

4 posted 1999-09-12 01:38 PM

Oh, to be so talented! Absolute perfection!

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Denise

johnt300
Member

since 1999-09-12

Posts 214
san diego, ca.

5 posted 1999-09-12 01:39 PM

Enjoyed this very much. Thank you.
Tyson

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

6 posted 1999-09-12 03:59 PM

Another side of the multi-faceted Dream, superbly done.

Dragoness
Senior Member

since 1999-08-07

Posts 513

7 posted 1999-09-12 09:05 PM

Fantastic! You have out done yourself yet again!

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Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

8 posted 1999-09-12 09:59 PM

DreamEvil,
Superbly done, You are one of my favorites.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

9 posted 1999-09-12 11:27 PM

Very well done indeed!! What children will do to us!

beowulf_26
Member

since 1999-06-29

Posts 183

10 posted 1999-09-15 10:26 PM

Jeez. I look at this poem and wallow in my own greeness. "I'm not worthy...." I was completly unaware that such things could be done. The form well, lets stick with "rocked". A masterful use of form.

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Opinions are like bellybuttons: eveybody's got 'em and they're good for nothing.

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

11 posted 1999-09-15 10:41 PM

As usual your styles in verse awe me.
A beauitful piece!!!

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