navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #2 » Crossing Deserts
Open Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Crossing Deserts Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 1999-09-09 08:22 PM


Silence
in that chamber
of the heart
that belongs
to you
alone

I hear your voice
always
though
at times
you hide from me
'I've been busy'
yet you tell me
'you're not alone
in this feeling'
in this suffering

I want you

here

now

just to look in your eyes
and hear your whisper
against my hair

so cruel
Dearest
that such strength
of passion
is futile

we both live
for passion:
of words, of thought
of the imagined touch
of us
the unimaginable touch
of us

for we would be consumed
in our own fire
of devasted love
a phoenix without wings

These people
drifting in
and out of
our lives
don't spark our fevers

yet you ignite me
and I you

one
look
of
you
and
I
am aflame
alight
burning
ash

What else is there?
Who else?

Tell me
and I would cross deserts
for relief

I'm not sure
I can be like you
loving another
and loving you
apart

Perhaps for me
your heart burns
only red fire
while mine
is pale as snow
hotter than the sun

I could go on and on
sending words
into the silent air
words you'll never hear

Sending the cries
of my heart
the lost cries
of my heart

9.9.99

------------------
'Only the shallow know themselves.' Oscar Wilde.

© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
roxane
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505
us
1 posted 1999-09-09 09:45 PM


I really liked this one. I really could never make a suggestion on it. It just flowed in all the right places and I completely related to it. Thank you for a great read.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 1999-09-09 09:53 PM


ThankYOU for reading and liking, roxane!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 1999-09-09 10:31 PM


Severn, this is very, very good. There is a ton of thoughts in this poem and a lot of sad/angry/longing feelings. Many thoughts here can be related to easily
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
4 posted 1999-09-09 10:39 PM


What can I say, I agree with Balladeer on this! Very well done!
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
5 posted 1999-09-09 10:43 PM


I've felt that before. You expressed it beautifully.
moonmoon
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 277
TX , USA
6 posted 1999-09-09 11:04 PM



Severn, your poem ignited a plethora of emotions in me..What touched me most was the devastation of love & the metaphor 'pheonix without wings'...
Thanks for the read..

------------------
"No one was ever ruined from without;
The final ruin comes from within.".....Amelia E. Barr



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 1999-09-10 12:41 PM


wow!
Thankyou all so much.
Balladeer - I'm overcome by your praise.
WhiteDove - I echo the sentiment
Tara - it's a hard feeling is it not?
moonmoon - like I said to roxane - thankYOU

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
8 posted 1999-09-10 12:45 PM


Egad girl! You just keep getting better and better. You know how I know that? Because I can find absolutely no fault with this. The passion in this is sweltering! I abslutely LOVED how you broke up:


I want you

here

now


A graceful bow accompanied by hearty applause!

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
9 posted 1999-09-10 12:58 PM


Severn this is excellent.....

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

10 posted 1999-09-12 03:46 AM


Chris - a big bow in return!
Pepper - thankyou

caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
11 posted 1999-09-12 12:25 PM


Severn...I can't find enough praise for this one! It is perfection! I wish I had written this myself

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

12 posted 1999-09-12 01:15 PM


Severn, what a masterpiece! So much emotion, so skillfully displayed. Absolutely beautiful!

------------------
Denise

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

13 posted 1999-09-15 07:51 PM


I've just read your replies, caroline and dsnyder and I'm truly stunned at your praise. Thankyou both very very much.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2001-07-10 11:33 PM


Very Passionate K, Wow!
I don't know how I missed this one.

Maree

"little miss understood
little misunderstood"

~Marry me Jane~


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2004-05-30 03:51 AM



Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #2 » Crossing Deserts

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary