The Grand Scheme of Things

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Open Poetry #2

The Grand Scheme of Things

Former Football
New Member

since 1999-09-05

Posts 8
Wyoming, MN, USA

0 posted 1999-09-05 02:28 AM

In the grand scheme of things
we may not really matter
In the grand scheme of things
we are but ants moving sand
In the grand scheme of things
we probably don't matter at all
In the grand scheme of things
it doesn't matter how insignificant we are
For in the smaller circles,
we are everything....
You are my world
I am yours
and even in the grand scheme of things, that is all that matters

------------------
the true sign of a
thinker is not the sound,
but the silence.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

1 posted 1999-09-05 08:19 AM

In the grand scheme of things...this was a pretty good piece of work
One suggestion though....to improve the flow of it, I myself would break the final line
"and even in the grand scheme of things, that is all that matters"
to
and even in the grand scheme of things,
that is all that matters

Not only would this improve the flow, but it would also accentuate the all important last line of this poem and really bring the message through

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"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

caroline
Senior Member

since 1999-08-16

Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm

2 posted 1999-09-05 11:06 AM

Nice work indeed. I do agree with hoot...the last line deserves the added emphasis.

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

3 posted 1999-09-05 01:13 PM

This was excellent, FF. I enjoyed this one very much!

------------------
Denise

Wesley the Blue
Member

since 1999-09-02

Posts 426
Forest Lake, MN, USA

4 posted 1999-09-05 01:32 PM

Good work, Foot. I agree with the need for a break in the last line, but those kinds of things take time to develop as a writer.

Shimmer
New Member

since 1999-09-07

Posts 5

5 posted 1999-09-07 10:36 PM

Excellent poem. I was only curious as to the nature of the inspiration of the poem. It appeared either to be from love of another human or from love of God.
Insightful.

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