All Inside (I could use some help in making this better, please)

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Open Poetry #2

All Inside (I could use some help in making this better, please)

Emmy
Member

since 1999-06-29

Posts 194
KY

0 posted 1999-09-04 06:49 PM

***... better as in like maybe a new title? This one could really use some work...***

He sits alone and silent,
his thoughts are far from here
His expression, one of pain
as if all end is near
The day has been so hard
and now his reverie
is offering sweet escape
though it takes him far from me
An invisable wall
creates an impenatrable sheild
and in this, edges blur
from what's in mind and what's real
Mind offers more release,
while reality is bitter cruel
But reality is what he has to face
Every day he comes to school
So he's locked himself up
and thrown away the key
Who will be the one
to break the bond and set him free?
People in the past have tried
to pull him from his shell
But today no attemps are made
and maybe it's just as well...
For he sits in utter solitude,
searching for lost inner peace
He's waiting for the moment
when the turmoil inside will cease
So when, oh when, will this moment come?
He surely can't bear much more
His pain is exceedingly intense
It's eats away at his very core
So he runs and hides inside himself,
though that's right where his pains lies
He won't let anyone in at all,
he'll hurt anyone who tries
So I let him sit there, all alone
and watch him cry inside,
and it's then I suddenly realize
that something inside him has died
Happiness no longer exists
he's filled with hate and pain
He's made it so he can no longer lose
but there's nothing there to gain
His fear of being rejected,
unloved or misunderstood
Has only locked him up even more,
God knows it's in there for good...
I wish I could help but there's no way in,
no way that I can find
All there is left to do is wait
until his heart opens up to mine

[This message has been edited by Emmy (edited 09-04-99).]

[This message has been edited by Emmy (edited 09-04-99).]

[This message has been edited by Emmy (edited 09-04-99).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-09-08 08:32 PM

Emmy, I think this is a great poem. For a title how about 'Shackles' or 'Shackles of the Heart' ? Again, very nice poem.

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Denise

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

2 posted 1999-09-08 08:33 PM

Emmy, I think this is a great poem. For a title how about 'Shackles' or 'Shackles of the Heart' ? Again, very nice poem.

------------------
Denise

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 1999-09-08 09:21 PM

Emmy,
How about "Waiting."

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