It would be really great to get feedback on something!!

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Open Poetry #2

It would be really great to get feedback on something!!

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

0 posted 1999-09-03 08:30 PM

Lost In the Shadows

Truth is stranger than fiction

How mysteriously true

Some kind of wonderful lost in me

Aimlessly wandering

Nowhere to go

Scary shadows leave me cold

Hopelessly running away from them

Stopped by the monster standing before me

Rain pours down suddenly

Dancing, dancing losing myself

Turning doubts diminishing

Subconsciously frightening

Hopelessly afraid to open the door

Has forgotten where lies

The key from long ago

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Hope to hear back!!!

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

1 posted 1999-09-04 10:28 AM

This is an interesting piece, justbleu. I like it's title, the dreamy state it puts the reader in. I don't know why no-one else has responded yet. Some of the lines are particularly effective: "Scary shadows leave me cold" and "Stopped by the monster standing before me" and "Dancing, dancing losing myself". The poem reflected confusion, lonliness, & fear. I imagine that was your intent. Nice work.

Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

2 posted 1999-09-04 10:38 AM

Its like walking through the horror section in the library.

I like it though. Good job.

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