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Open Poetry #2
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Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston

0 posted 1999-09-03 12:26 PM


You say that I am forcing rhyme
but I think you are wrong this time.
Its just the way my verse comes out
don't mean to b*tch, don't mean to shout.

But if you would say.. use a real name
and not play with us this hiding game.
Then I might take your advise to heart,
but until then get off my poetry cause your gettin on my nerves and I don't like it.

© Copyright 1999 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
1 posted 1999-09-03 12:41 PM


You go, Lucie!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 1999-09-03 01:25 AM


Love that last line! It rhymes soooo perfectly!!! J/k. Way to give 'em a piece o' your mind!
Critic
New Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 9

3 posted 1999-09-03 07:22 AM


My post to your work was one of several to this site, all my honest opinions, to see if this was a site based upon mutual self-appreciation of 2X4 poetry or, instead, progressive poetry critique. It is sadly the former.

You can now return, unscathed, to your former existance, without worry!


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 1999-09-03 09:30 AM


ROFLMAO!! Great job, Lucie!
Deb Lynne
Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 180
Where blue skies meet blue ocean
5 posted 1999-09-03 09:37 AM


Well said Lucie! There's always one bad apple in the barrel, one smelly one in the bunch! Keep writing! The rest of us enjoy every word!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 1999-09-03 10:01 AM


Lucie,
I just want to be everbodies friend.
Enjoyed the poem.

Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
7 posted 1999-09-03 12:58 PM


Look, I can take critisism with the best of them, and sometimes my poems do come out like a second grade jumprope song. But when you hide behind a name like critic, what response do you expect? I have taken critisism from the greats in here, get a real name and I might respect your opinion too. Besides we saw no great and wonderful masterpiece with your name on it. Afraid we might be supportive and kind with our words? Trying not to damage a blossoming Poet. Realizing that not every person who posts it this forum is a poetic genious, some only versing idiots like me and Toerag? (sorry Toe..hehe)You give your opinion, but can't take my critisism of it. Ha.. funny when you think of it that way huh?
Critic
New Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 9

8 posted 1999-09-03 01:55 PM


Hmmm. Interesting point. Hiding behind a name like Critic? Well, it is atleast honest and upfront. As is we do- all of us- therein hide behind names and email generic in order to mask ourselves. Is Lucie specific? Balladeer? FemmeFatale? Toerag?

I have no problem with critisism of my critisism, honestly. As I wrote this was a test of a sight listed as "This is the place to go if you would like to post your poetry for open review, or critique the poetry of others." But no one here actually does critique, do they? No, they don't. And nor do the writers wish to be critiqued. That's all the test was meant to find out, honestly.

I'm not looking for a site were everyone slaps each other on the back, but rather one that seeks self-improvement through critique.
This isn't that, honestly. Mea culpa.



Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
9 posted 1999-09-03 03:26 PM


THEN MOVE ALLLLONNNG BROTHER!!

I like to think of this as an extended family. You can't pick your family members, some you like, some you don't. If you don't like them... sit at the other end of the picnic table or take yo azz to yo in-laws!!!

kisses!!!

Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
10 posted 1999-09-03 03:28 PM


OH! And by the way... would anyone admit to a name like Lucie unless it was really theirs??? YA THINK???
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
11 posted 1999-09-03 03:31 PM


Lucie...ya ask that question to someone with a name like "Toerag".....c'mon gal...ya gotta be kidding....right?
Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
12 posted 1999-09-03 03:44 PM


Ha Ha Point taken Toerag.

He slammed you too huh??? hahahah

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 1999-09-03 05:51 PM


Well, I haven't seen any of Critic's comments but you guys sure have my curiosity up. It seems to me we're all saying the same thing. We say that this is a "family" thing, which it is and it appears from what I read here, that he is saying basically the same thing. We have our Critical Analysis area for those who want a frank, honest review of their work and we have our Open area where we socialize, swap experiences and visit with each other, all in poetic form. You don't correct a friend's grammar whenever he says something wrong and keep a friend for very long. From what I gather here, this person came in and made some derrogatory remarks in the Open forum without checking us out first. That being the case, it was right for you, Lucie, to get on his case. If he had checked us out first, he would have seen that we have a Critique area. Some people genuinely want criticism of their poetry to help them strive to better themselves and some people just want a place where they can go to express their thoughts in their own poetic way. Our Open Forum leans toward the latter, a mixture of excellent poets, of poets less polished but just as sincere, and Toerag. As for me, I say, THANK GOD! I wouldn't have it any other way!
Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
14 posted 1999-09-03 05:53 PM


I think so too Balladeer.. besides he reminded me of this uncle I have the one who talks really loud about nothing at all and give his opinion about things he knows nothing about!

[This message has been edited by Lucie (edited 09-03-99).]

Wesley the Blue
Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426
Forest Lake, MN, USA
15 posted 1999-09-04 01:07 AM


thanks for roasting that guy. didnt sound like he had anything too usefull or original to say. He "cretiqued" one of my poems and said I was forcing it, hmmmm.... sound familiar? Thanks again.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
16 posted 1999-09-04 07:59 PM


To "Critic"
I just sent you the following email....
However, it was returned to me because you seem to have posted a "bogus" email address.
You do, indeed, seem to be hiding behind anonymity.

Your email reads as follows:
If you choose to "test" our site to determine its focus, we'd be pleased to know your identity. This site is a composite of contributors, ranging in abilities from novices to master poets. Should you peruse our plethora of forums more thoroughly, you would certainly see that we have an "Open Poetry Forum" for all to enjoy - That is, indeed - a place for our posters to respond to each other with supportive comments. There's the "Critical Analysis Forum" for in-depth critiques on poets who choose that avenue -

Perhaps your criticism of our site is a bit overzealous!!


If you find that this site is not caustic enough to suit you, or if you neglect to submit a valid email address on your profile; I'd be more than happy to delete every one of your postings. Then I'll cheerfully direct you to sites where participants thrive on "slamming" each other - That is, if you actually have any of your own work to post.....

Nancy Ness
Forum Moderator - This is not a cognomen - As such, it should be sufficiently perspicuous for your purport.





[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 09-04-99).]

Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102
Texas
17 posted 1999-09-04 08:05 PM


Well, all the seriousness aside, this is a great poem! Kepp this one, it is fab. Keep up the good work!

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot



Emmy
Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 194
KY
18 posted 1999-09-04 08:09 PM


WOO-HOO!!!! A big round o' applause for Lucie!!!! We ARE a family, and a loving one at that. Yes, we critique each others work, but I agree whole-heartedly with Balladeer in that we're just looking for a place to express our selves poetically. Critic, move it on out! Lucie, loved that last line there! You go girl! Keep on writing!
Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
19 posted 1999-09-04 08:24 PM


BIG GIGANTIC HUGS FOR ALL MY DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY..HEHEH

Nan.. way to go.. you tell him too.. it seems more important coming from you!!!

To all who responded to this poem. I hope that you all continue to post and be happy little people.

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
20 posted 1999-09-04 08:33 PM


I cannot resist responding to this one. Slamming each other is not acceptable. That's all there is to it. I didn't read whatever "critic" posted to result in this very humorous yet serious poem, but I have encountered similar comments at another poetry website..... seems there are some people who need a lot of attention, even though it's based on this kind of garbage slamming. Funny thing is, at this other website where these kinds of slamming comments were found, the dude never posted any poetry of his own there either! Wonder if it's the same person.

Lucie, I love your style!!

dp

Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
21 posted 1999-09-04 08:46 PM


Thanks Doreen.. lovin yours too..

(shhh the only family memeber in here I sit at the other end of the table from is me..hehe.. dual personality you know..haha)

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
22 posted 1999-09-04 09:15 PM


I think critic was blown away....he/she has not responded as of late....good ridance to the big fake......

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Tyke
Junior Member
since 1999-08-22
Posts 26
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
23 posted 1999-09-04 09:45 PM


Lucie

I don't know you nor do I know the critic. You are right to defend yourself, but in my opinion ignorance is a prison of it's own. The critic may need to justify why he/she exists. Wither the critic is right or wrong does not matter for ignorance knows no truth. What you write, you write well and you should take great pride in this, as it is a great gift that you share with others, for there are those of us who still struggle with the pen, paper and the mind.

Forgiveness is the might of the mighty. Forgiveness and gentleness are the qualities of the self-possessed. They represent eternal virtue.
- from the Mahabharata

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
24 posted 1999-09-04 10:19 PM


I am a bit confused on this subject as I have yet to see any of the critics replies, but I hope that when I offer advice to other poets here, I do not get the same response. For the most part, my words are uplifting, but I do offer suggestions from time to time on ways I feel that the poem could be improved. I take time to read ever posting on here and for the most part reply to probably 75% of them. Would I to be slammed like this for offering an opinion to people I think of as my friends, I would be heartbroken.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
25 posted 1999-09-04 10:25 PM


OH Hoot! your advise is well taken and to heart. But the replies we were getting from someone who had posted no poetry for others to critique were not given with friendliness in mind.. but only rudeness that I could see. He said the same thing to several of the poets.. not just me. Der Keit will tell you..
I am generally a calm and unaggressive adversary, but when you slice with words I will take up my sword also.

Your advise is welcomed... always!

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
26 posted 1999-09-04 10:34 PM


Aside from that, Ruth - We know who you are... And we love ya!

Your critiques are constructive - not destructive.

Also, you don't deride others for hiding their identities and then avoid divulging your own.....

PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon
27 posted 1999-09-04 11:18 PM


Hi, I figured that since I feel like a part of this family (and I thank you all for that) that I am going to put in my two cents. Lucie I have read your poetry and you have every right to be proud of the works you have penned because they are very well done and I don't mean just mechanically but the spirit of them shines thru as well. As far as critic is concerned I don't know anything about him/her and have never seen any of his/her works posted so all I can say is since he/she can't take the heat they need to stay out of the kitchen. Just consider the source and try to remember how insignicant his/her opinion is if they don't have the guts to post their own work. All of us take a chance when we post something. My first one scared me to death cuz I was petrified of being trashed. What I found instead were very caring and supportive people with a sense of humur and a sense of honor. Critic obviously has no character and that's sad. What a horrible way to have live when you can't see the beauty in the written word no matter how short or long it may be or how it is written. We all write from the heart in form or another and critic's is without beauty. Anyway I'm gettin' off my pulpit now. Just wanted to talk I guess LOL

------------------
Words lay dormant in the recesses of the mind til called forth to a labor of love. By WildChild


Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551
Pennsylvania
28 posted 1999-09-04 11:27 PM


Lucie,
I agree with everyone else, we are all behind you. I have never seen any of Critic's work either and I do not know anything about him or her eiter. All I know is it is really a shame when someone like that has the nerve to judge this great site without even checking it out. You guys love to have fun and joke around and I think that is great and if Critic doesn't understand the idea of friends than that is his/her lost. Before I found this place I wrote poetry but had no one to share it with. I am so happy I found this place because not only do I have a place to have my poetry posted but I get to read all these great poets works as well. I can only hope to be as great as all you guys one day. You guys are so great because you give constructive criticism but you also joke around, you really are like a big family. Thanks again. And Lucie, you have every right and more to do what you did. I'm done now .

------------------
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
-Bob Hope


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
29 posted 1999-09-05 06:32 AM


All I can say is I wouldn't have been able to be so gentle and still drive the point home as well as you have here. Good job.

Michael

MariaMontana
New Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 1
Mont/Wy border
30 posted 1999-09-06 11:39 PM


Arts and sciences are not cast in a mould, but are formed and perfected by degrees, by often handling and polishing, as bears leisurely lick their cubs into form. --Montaigne: Apology for Raimond Sebond,
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
31 posted 1999-09-07 03:27 AM


Oh he he he ha ha ha ya hoo hoo! ROFLOL Lucie, I swear, I leave you unattended for a FEW days, and look what you get yourself INTO! You silly silly girl! Picking fights & whooping *ss!
******************* You go girl! ************************

I'm with Chris - loved that last line, how you just THREW it all out there like a big chested lady or something! ........breathe deeply, remember what we taught you....RHYME......concentrate....ahh.....

------------------
I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale



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