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The Seeker of Truth
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The Seeker of Truth |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
So beautiful she is, lying there in her bed of silk. Eyes closed in peaceful slumber. HEr hands lay at her stomach protecting the one within her as she sleeps peacefully...and dreams. As the night goes on, the shadows start to move. The Bringer of Death has emerged. With eyes glistening with the fire only he cam consume, he walks stealthily to his next victim. HE draws his sword. Its unique metallic ring pierces the silence. His victim stirs and murmurs something only she can hear, and begins to wake. She sits up and her eyes open. Her scream is silenced for once and for all. Her eyes hold a terrified look as she gracefully falls back onto her silken bed. This is the punishment for her adulterous act. The Bringer of Death. Judge. Jury. Executioner. The Seeker of Truth. Court Adjourned. Too short for prose? Just say so, and I'll lengthen it. stay cool  ~~Lavada~~ "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart some |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lavada Miller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Lavada, I had a couple of questions: are you glorifying the murder in cold blood? or are you trying to use the sarcasm of justice... but then you are allowing adultery... see you are using a great double-edged sword there yourself...  if you expand, maybe a semi-ignorant reader like me can follow...  What I would like to see is expansion in the first part drawing compassion and love of the reader... describe the woman, involve the reader's imagination with imagery etc... The entry of villain could be marked with descrioption of the eerie and culminating with a growth of hatred in the reader's mind for that character... The third part should be short and swift. Then as an epilogue, you may express the sadultery part and the unjust way of handing out justice... you may come out of it in a neutral way if handled carefully... and leave the reader feel disturbed in mind thinking of a solution to avoid the killing of the innocent child, and yet to avoid adultery etc.... and so on... I hope I have been helpful... This has tremendous potential, its only that I had not picked this topic and I am jealous.... My regards, Sudhir P.S. please overlook my spelling mistakes, I am typing so fast as the thoughts jumping out... he he he  |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
A very interesting idea for a plot, and could be developed very well if you follow Sudhir's advice there, it's really good, and I agree with it, LOL. At the moment I find it hard to distinguish between the characters, and without a little more buildup and imagery it's hard to get the reader involved. Good begining though, keep working Abrahm Simons "Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Interesting plot indeed... though you might be careful, as much of this could be seen as coming directly from Terry Goodkind's series "The Sword of Truth" novels, in which Richard Cypher is the "Bringer of Death and Seeker of Truth." He often contemplates to himself and tells other that he acts as the "Judge, jury and executioner." Also, when he draws the "Sword of Truth," "Its unique metallic ring pierces the silence." Interesting. |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Sudhir: *whines* But you're the one good at imagery remember?! I can't hardly do anything with it! Any ideas? Abrahm: Thanks for reading it! And your advice Christopher: Ah ha..you have found my inspiration! Have you read the whole series yet??? I have to get the 6th one that came out not too long ago. I can't wait! I know that Richard RAHL doesn't go around killing people unjustly, but I just used the sword and some of the names he gave himself. thanks all for reading it! I'll see what I can do stay cool ~~Lavada~~  "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart some |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Good call on the Rahl... though in the first book he didn't know he was a Rahl... Yes. Anyway, yes. I've read all five that are out so far a minimum of four times each, the first seven or so. And the sixth hasn't quite come out just yet. It's due on the 22nd. And I've been eagerly awaiting it for quite some time, even if the last was disappoining. I hope you caught my mild hint though... [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 08-18-2000).] |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
And which mild hint would that be??? I guess I didn't catch it.  Oh well, I can't wait to read the 6th one either. I'm on "pins and needles" to read it! It's funny how Zedd keeps disappearing and popping up like that. Yes, the last one was sad. Especially what happened to Kahlan. I can't wait to find out if she will be ok! Oh...what was that hint again???"For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart some |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Christopher....which hint would that be???Now I'm on pins and needles trying to get you to reply! "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart some |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Hey - Was just a "hint" to be cautious. When you're dealing with things such as inspiration, you find that there's a fine line between honoring that inspiration and plaigairism. You wouldn't want to fall from the inspired side of the fence into the plaigairism side! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
on pins and needles... now that would have been interesting... have you been to india or the mystical east recently, sweet lavada... I have seen cartoons where a tantrik is shown to be meditating seated upon a bed of nails oh just kidding... I think Chris is talking sense here.. if you have lines that appear to be a take from any other writer's book, be sure to be in some trouble... however if inspiration strikes you and you come up with similar style... nobody can point a finger at you... :d it's that simple (and if you need help with the expansion of this story, feel free to e-mail me... I don't charge money for writing ... not at the present at least  )regards, sudhir [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 08-25-2000).] |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
oops I guess you're right, Chris...I didn't even think about it. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Sudhir...I would like help expanding this story..If you don't mind...I'll e-mail you after I check some other things.. K?stay cool ~~Lavada~~ [This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 08-25-2000).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
By the way - Finished "Faith of the Fallen" yesterday (don't even ask what I had to do to get the time...) Good. Still though, feels as if he's declining. As if he put all his effort in the first few books and the rest has been more an afterthought than part of the original idea. My op. |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
That was an interesting story. I'd like to read it if you expand on it more. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today" ~Broadway Musical RENT~ *Cassandra Roseen* |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Chris- Don't tell me! I want to read it myself! Dawn- Thanks...I'm working on it! stay cool ~~Lavada~~ "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart some |
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