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Prosaic Memories [Inspired by M. Bohannan]
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Prosaic Memories [Inspired by M. Bohannan] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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PROSAIC MEMORIES I allowed a poet to take me down that path, the one of memories and heartbreak, heart's ache, and heart's grief. I allowed him to take me down the road and for me there lies no respite, no forgiving, no relief. Oh God, the mistakes I made. And I did them all in spite of You…all to myself, 'cause my conscience was there telling me what to do. You can't help that I closed that door on my better half. Oh if I allow myself, I remember the story I made, the one where I would bade all good things come to me, that I could and would be beautiful in one man's eyes, and I could and would marry him, and as it turned out, even whims should not be wished for, because you can get what you whim for, evermore. How ashamed of me am I, that I did not see myself in Your eyes. Although I did hear myself argue with Your voice. How kind of You to try to stop my foolish ways, and how petty of me to think now that You could have, should have picked me up there on that beach; how blind was I to not see Your footsteps there in the sand beside mine, and his. And I ignored You throughout the kiss. Looking back, no bliss. Fools rush in…and had I gone and gotten wet then, in the waves, perhaps that cooling off would have been the period where sanity would have rushed in…and a ring returned…and reality could have been sparked, but no we returned to where the car was parked and I remember the story I made, the one where I would bade all good things come to me, that I could and would be beautiful in one man's eyes, and I could and would marry him, and as it turned out, even whims should not be wished for, because you can get what you whim for, evermore. Yes, prosaic memories. Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
OHHHH WOW......I Inspired this??? You have made my day and I don't even know what I did.lol You shine in a hundred ways with this one and you give me hunger to try and reach deeper into prose as I see how beautiful it can be when done with your talent and desire. I thank you for your dedication to me in this and in your silent challenges for me to expand. They do not go unnoticed.  [This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 08-11-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Karilea, This is very well written... Regards, Sudhir P.S. do you want me to put on a critique's glasses...   |
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Bruce Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 15Internet, Cyber-Space, Everywhere |
Wow. This sounds so sad. I like your word choice, it made everything seem so potent. Bruce |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
excellent Sun, hearfelt and well expressed emotions ... written with depth..honesty... and wisdom take care jm |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hello my friends. I attempted to post a reply to your responses yesterday, but my office computer was acting totally unreliable and wouldn't accept the fact that I needed to tell you the following: First, I was surprised by all of your responses. So I thank you! Second, all of you missed something [not big, but I had hoped if anyone saw it, it would be commented upon...] Mark: of course you inspired this! You have a wonderful talent and it has been an example of work that is well-thought through, vamped and revamped and honed to perfection! I admire your work, and always look forward to it! Sudhir: Thank you! No, you may NOT critique...I like it the way it is and I didn't put it in CA! [But if you think it needs work, then wield your weighty rosed pen and perform a miracle, would you?]Bruce: I like potent! Thanks! JM, anyone ever tell you it's always a treat to see your name? Thank you for the "excellent"...I appreciate it! Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
how blind was I to not see Your footsteps there in the sand beside mine, and his. And I ignored You throughout the kiss. Looking back, no bliss. Karilea-other than the fact that it seems to me that you are talking to God---a response to "Footprints" as it were what is there I have missed? I thought this was a given.lol I didn't miss it the first time I just did not mention it. Me thoughts you would know.  [This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 08-12-2000).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
No, Mark, the footsteps in sand theme is apparent...but there was a brief alluding to some poetic verse interspersed throughout...if read aloud, you may hear it...then again, you may not. All in the ear of the whisperer... Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I hear a whipser of rhyme and its divine...  prose kissed with rhyme ...perfect. later-creative-prose-gator jm |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Janet Marie, I have your BINGO prize ready! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Karilea... sigh lady. I want to be mean to you, just to keep up appearances and all.. but... will you please post something less touching? Beauty flows through your veins m'lady and shows with each drop of your thoughts through your pen. A sigh, a smile. C. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
OMG, there's a way to soften the young cuss afterall... Thanks, Chris. Beneath all of the kind words, I really do know what you mean. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Nothing to offer... My pen is darn tired... in fact I think I am beginning to feel THE BLOCK ... (I hope that gets sawed off by tomorrow morn) Moreover, your work is a priceless piece of art... and from what I read each coming day... things only get better and better adn more priceless... But I can always offer My regards... and smiles - Sudhir |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I will hold priceless to me, and know that it came from your heart... sweet dreams... |
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